An Ode to Seuss

Every Hoo
Down in Hoo-ville
Liked orange and blue ties and khakis a lot...

But the Hokies,
Who lived in Heaven in Blacksburg,
Did NOT!

The Hokies hate orange and blue ties!  The Hoos should be tried for treason!
Now, you don't have to ask why.  We all know the reason.
It could be that the Hokies are ranked 5th in the country and their second 11-win season in school history was about to feel right.
It could be, perhaps, that they thought wearing loafers on game day was a pitiful sight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that the Hokies love the orange and maroon of football season, which of course is in Fall.

But,
Whatever the reason,
Their colors or their shoes,
The Hokies stood there on game day, hating the Hoos.
Driving over from Blacksburg, Bud gave a frown
At dual-threat Perry Jones who's the best Hoo in town.
And Bud knew that QB Michael Rocco and RB Kevin Parks were pretty good too,
But Bud had a plan of just what his Defense should do.

"We have to take away their big plays!" Bud snarled with a sneer.
"They go for the big ones!  Our time to defend the Commonwealth Cup is finally here!"
Then he growled about receivers Tim Smith and Kris Burd, furiously chewing his gum,
"I will make them wish for Al Groh!  I'll make their offense look dumb!"
For, today, Bud knew...

... All the Hoo girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early.  They'd study some Russian and and gel up their hair!
And then!  Oh what they'll WEAR!  Oh, what they wear!  Wear!  Wear!
That's what the Hokies all hated!  What they WEAR!  WEAR!  WEAR! WEAR!

The Hoos also had a good Defense.  12 interceptions is pretty beast.
But their leading scorer was their field-goal kicker, which all the Hoos liked the least.
For it's embarrassing for your leading scorer to be the kicker, to be the team beast,
And his preppy name, Robert Randolph, is what the Hokies liked the least.

And THEN
There was the fact that the winner of the game would win the ACC Coastal Division!
The winner would play for the ACC championship, something the Hokies could envision.
The Hokies weren't scared of Clemson anymore after they got their butts handed to them by NC State.
The Hokies knew they could beat Clemson, a team they still hate.

The Hoos thought they could take on the Hokies.  For the first time since 2007, the Hoos were ranked!
But the Hokies knew that it just depended on what poll you looked at, that their their butts would be spanked!
Why do the Hoos like to write their school name with a big "UV" and a small, little "a"?
The Hokies thought that was dorky, and well, a little gay.

Since Al Groh, the Hoos have been coached by a London named Mike.
He's gotten the Hoos ranked the fastest of any coach down in Hoo-ville, which the Hoos really like!
But what is a Wahoo, anyway, the Hokies wondered and thought?
Oh!  It's a tasty fish.  Hokies like to eat tasty fish... a LOT!

"I don't hate ALL Hoos!" Bud yelled with glee.
"I like the Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day and Yoo-Hoo and Hoo Haven!"
"I like Hoo-Hoo International and Wah-Hoo Detroit, whose General Tso I've been cravin'!"
"There's Hoo's Woods and the Hoo-Ahhs... so many Hoos I could pee!"
"Ah, who am I kidding?  All Hoos suck."  All the Hokies agree.

So Bud got an idea!
A wonderful idea!
BUD
GOT AN AWESOME, WONDERFUL IDEA!

"We'll take them down with the Giraffe and my D!" Bud laughed in his throat.
And he made up a defensive scheme of which he could gloat.
And he chuckled and he clucked.  "What a great Hokie trick!"
"With my plan and the Giraffe, no matter what Stiney does, our team will look slick!"

So, the Hoos, who barely know of Bud Foster or blue jeans and t-shirts, or Natty Light,
Have no idea what is coming, drinking their pinot and white zinfandel, they're obviously not bright.
The Hokies OWN EXIT 118B.  No one cares that Hoo-ville has one TOO!
The Hoos say, "We have Thomas Jefferson!".  Is that all you've got?  Boo Hoo!  Boo Hoo!

So what happens next...?
Well...in Hoo-ville they say
That their blue and orange striped ties
Will live on for another game day!
But Bud and the Hokies know that the Hoos are in for a fright.
Bud's Defense will be scary.  It will be quite a sight.
And Bud hates loafers!  Like all Hokies do!
And he...

...HE HIMSELF...!
Bud made some dried Wahoo for game day, for something to chew!

Love The Doctor,
The B.S.C.

P.S. Hudson and the Hoo Doo Cats are pretty snazzy.