So sayeth the Voo Doo Witch Doctor from The Princess and the Frog - the nice one who eats buttons, not the mean one:
"For whomever shall watch the legendary coaching of one, Bud Foster, will come the CURSE OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR. 5 wins against unranked opponents will get ye mentions of "the best Defense in the nation". And then, to fulfill the curse, your ears will bleed of new heights and weights for quarterbacks, with the final horrible outcome of ... a national ranking."
TWENTY- FOUR (AP). TWENTY-FIVE (USA Today).
Run and hide for cover, my friends. The dreaded ranking is here. My better half called this last week as The Baby Blue Blankies thoroughly stunk up the television set. I guess Renner was hurt, so they were playing second-tier Williams...but come on! Are we SERIOUSLY the 24th best team in the NATION?
Clark is serious.
We barely beat the Blankies 17-27 even though the game was a snooze-fest. My notes consisted of a random Giraffe update, 6'5", 255, and the Florida State demolition of Maryland, 63-0. I mean, I can't stand FSU like the rest of us, but seeing MD get beat so badly is hilarious. Take your ugly unis and shove it, turtle! We can probably thank their utter incompetence at #25 for our ranking this week. FSU was 8th last week, and this week moved up to #6. Clemson is at 3 or 4, depending on who you ask. Oh... and yes, crickets for MD. They are no longer ranked.
We should have beat the Blankies by about 40 - but we didn't. But because of THE CURSE OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR, we end up ranked. Ranked is a dirty word. At the beginning of past seasons, any pre-season ranking would set expectations too high and then we would lose and the haters would say, "you were over-ranked", and they'd be right. Pre-season rankings bring their own curse - THE CURSE OF DEATH.
Mid-season rankings are just as frustrating. You WANT to feel like we earned it, but our never-ending finish around #20 year after year makes you feel like we just get it because our mascot is awesome, and so is Blacksburg. Or, some voters just felt bad for the ACC. One or the other. Mediocrity is egregious. Anything between #20 and #25 is mediocrity.
Blagh.
NEWS FLASH: Weaves has scheduled our opening season loss for 2015 on Labor Day against Ohio State at Lane. Chalk up another humiliating opening season loss to the Hokies for 2015. Thanks, Weaves. Oh, and don't worry - we're gonna practice losing to them away from Lane first - 9/20/2014 @ Ohio State. Wow. I'm so glad we've got those two on the books. Now we can all just sleep easier since there's no way we'll win-out an entire season for the next 2 years, regardless of who we have at QB. Again - thank you, Weaves, for simplifying things.
So tomorrow we look upon our game with the Couch Burners of P-A (CBoPA) with contempt and disdain. Did you realize we haven't beaten the CBoPA since 2000? That's fun, huh? Losing to any couch-burning team is miserable. Watching a game in the rain is miserable. Please, Lord, can we avoid both tomorrow?
As I re-type the last...oh... 30% of my blog post here... because the Park Service that controls Blogger decided to just crap out and shove it in my face at 10:15, it occurs to me that even a loss tomorrow will be SOMETHING. We've haven't had much in the way of opposition so far this year (excluding game 1), and well, the CBoPA consistently manage to beat us.... so if we can actually pull this one off, I may get truly excited for Enter Sandman for the first time this season. The Giraffe will never get a nickname. No. It's much too late for that. But, a little hope would be nice for the rest of the season.
You better appreciate this fine, fine couch picture. It is the reason I lost 1/3 of this post in the first place. It technically made Blogger freeze up on me TWICE. STARE AT IT. LOVE IT. Feel sorry for it.
The CBoPA are nothing fancy this year. They are 3-1 with a loss to FSU, but their stats leave little to be desired. If Bud can bring it, we can dominate. If not, this scrappy team will beat us. Salty D against scrappy O = one interesting game.
Well, I have no idea how brilliant or hilarious the rest of my post was, so just assume it was the best ever. It's dark and almost 10:30 so I need to get this bad boy out into the world for a noon kick-off. We're now at Staunton and it looks like it hasn't rained here at all. Thank you, Al Gore, for nice football weather in October.
Note: where, oh where is the season schedule? The. Park. Service. Hates. Me.
Say hi to me if you'll be there tomorrow. I'll be the one in the maroon hoodie. As one great blog used to say, "I believe."
Love October in the New River Valley,
The B.S.C.
As I re-type the last...oh... 30% of my blog post here... because the Park Service that controls Blogger decided to just crap out and shove it in my face at 10:15, it occurs to me that even a loss tomorrow will be SOMETHING. We've haven't had much in the way of opposition so far this year (excluding game 1), and well, the CBoPA consistently manage to beat us.... so if we can actually pull this one off, I may get truly excited for Enter Sandman for the first time this season. The Giraffe will never get a nickname. No. It's much too late for that. But, a little hope would be nice for the rest of the season.
You better appreciate this fine, fine couch picture. It is the reason I lost 1/3 of this post in the first place. It technically made Blogger freeze up on me TWICE. STARE AT IT. LOVE IT. Feel sorry for it.
The CBoPA are nothing fancy this year. They are 3-1 with a loss to FSU, but their stats leave little to be desired. If Bud can bring it, we can dominate. If not, this scrappy team will beat us. Salty D against scrappy O = one interesting game.
Well, I have no idea how brilliant or hilarious the rest of my post was, so just assume it was the best ever. It's dark and almost 10:30 so I need to get this bad boy out into the world for a noon kick-off. We're now at Staunton and it looks like it hasn't rained here at all. Thank you, Al Gore, for nice football weather in October.
Note: where, oh where is the season schedule? The. Park. Service. Hates. Me.
Say hi to me if you'll be there tomorrow. I'll be the one in the maroon hoodie. As one great blog used to say, "I believe."
Love October in the New River Valley,
The B.S.C.
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