Doesn't that feel better?
No.
This is why we, meaning Beamer and Stiney, should NOT recruit a player who wants to be a tight end and turn him into a QB. Who is going to say no to us? At least in VA? "Hey you, you're really tall. You can come be the quarterback in Lane Stadium and play on a nationally ranked team! How does that sound?"
You want to know how that sounds? Asinine.
I don't know what to sound off on first. OBVIOUSLY, it's taken me some extra time to even approach the subject. Here are the 5 things that bothered me most about Saturday:
1. The Alumni bus. I really liked the Alumni bus. See here:
It was a good mix of ages. The driver was nice. The fried chicken and sides were delicious. BUT... and this is a HUGE BUT, some idiot Alumni invited their two Fighting Red Panda Chik-fil-A friends on the bus. I mean, are you serious? I'm not the jerk in the stands who mocks the opposition on every play (but I saw you, whoever you are, in Section 454). I think Hokies Respect is just some nonsense Weaves put up to ruin tailgating... somehow. But, I do not want to sit on an ALUMNI bus with people from the other side. I could have just hitchhiked or taken public transportation if I wanted to sit awkwardly on a bus for a couple hours. AND, what Fighting Red Panda Chik-fil-A fans would want to ride on a bus with a bunch of Tech people? I am simply baffled by the madness. They weren't jerks about it after the game, but, regardless... I still hated them, and those who brought them. Enough said.
2. FedEx. I hate that stadium. I hate the endless ramps that only incline at like 2-degrees. I had good seats, right on the 50-yard line on the upper level, but that place is just ugly. It has no character. And, yes, it was empty. And, now, I know why. I'm just not as smart as everyone else. I know in the back of my head that the place is cursed, but for some reason I chose to ignore it. Not again, my friends, not again. Go ahead, Weaves, book another one for FedEx! I bet you'll have a hard time getting 10,000 people in the stands next time, regardless of how many times you put it on LivingSocial.
3. The parking (FedEx, part II). So, I guess last time they didn't even have a bus lot. Genius! This year, in order to avoid that debacle, they opened up an itty bitty bus lot, and then... wait for it... didn't really bother to park people or control it. So, hey, if you want to park your bus and then take up 5 spots tailgating, NO PROBLEM! That is, until a crap-load of buses start to show up and the attendants start to pee their pants and drive around on golf carts beeping, try to get people to move their entire tailgates. Nice planning, FedEx. Then again, maybe it was the WEDDING taking up so much room. Hmmm....
4. Our playing. Running the Giraffe on 1st down is completely stupid. Our entire play book is pretty stupid, in fact. Not that this is a surprise to anyone. This is getting ridiculous. I should be excited when we get the ball, and instead, I cringe. The major problem, though, is that I also cringe on defense now. What is going on, Bud??? We didn't lose THAT many people on D. Where is G-Dub? If Stiney continues to suck (no surprise) and Bud can't get it going, my only conclusion can possibly be that Beamer's time is done. Maybe we can't afford to have him hang around until he gets a National Championship. It seems to me that he may be the reason we can't get one. Loyalty is not all it's cracked up to be. I'll give him the rest of this season to prove he's not going to be like JoePa and run our program into the ground.
5. You. Maybe you were smart and stayed at home for this one. Or, maybe you were an idiot like me and make the trek into Landover. If you happen to be one of those idiots, let me ask you this: did you stand up during the game? You know... stand up, on two feet? Or a foot and a peg leg, or two peg legs? You know that thing you do in Lane Stadium the whole game that makes Lane one of the best home-team venues in all of college football? My guess is that you didn't stand at all. Maybe you were embarrassed because no one else in your section was standing. Or, maybe you are a lazy sack of you-know-what. All I know is that I was embarrassed to sit near the Red Panda fans, who stood up most of the game. Our cheering sucked. Our team spirit sucked. Let's face it - we helped them lose.
What else is there really to say at this point in the week? Hump Day sucks. Our football team sucks. We may be headed for a UVA-esque bowl game, and you know what, we should hang our heads in shame at that.
I'm going to go lock myself in my closet and listen to Sarah McLachlan until my next post. If we lose this weekend, I may have to start looking for another sport to support.
Love my Hater-rade this week,
The B.S.C.
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