First things first: Chris Simms. I understand that Fox is having to think outside the box in order to staff its Saturday games. I mean, you can't just pull another Herbie out of a hat. But, according to my very in-depth Wikipedia search, Simms had more INTs in his professional "career" than TDs. Yet... this is our football expert? OK, let's pretend we don't even remember his "career" and simply look at his reporting from Saturday:
"6'6", 255"
...a few minutes later, The Giraffe got a little heavier (perhaps the weight of disappointment)...
"6'6", 256"
Then, throughout our whopping 15 points, he continued to point out how "strong", "talented", and "impressive" everyone is. Barf.
And, as if he could possibly sound more dopey, he said that The Giraffe gets "unfair criticism". BAHAHAHAHA. Oh, and then Fox picked The Giraffe as the Player of the Game. Seriously?
Maybe I was watching a different game. The game I saw included a TD by the Johnny Depps within the first 2 minutes of the game, a TD by Knowles, INTs, a safety by our D, AND THREE MISSED FIELD GOALS BY JOURNELL. THREE! AND AN EXTRA POINT!
Dear Beamer,
There are just two things I hate more than Orange Effect games: the U and recruiting kickers. What exactly was going wrong with all of our walk-on kickers that made you go out and recruit one? Our worst one in a decade, no doubt. Maybe it was Stiney who talked you into it, but I ultimately blame you. Journell cost us 10 points against ECU. TEN. If we had those points, our score wouldn't look like a baseball score. I am disgusted by this.
No love,
The B.S.C.
On to what's important for at least the next 24 hours: The Water Buffalo.
Here's how I'm calling tomorrow's game: Indians liked to eat buffalo, BUT I think that the turkey beats out the buffalo at Thanksgiving every year. Thus, we are better than the Water Buffalo. So, we win.
The Water Buffalo are 2-1 this year, completely killing Miami (of OH) and Gardner-Webb. They lost by just a little to Ohio (not State). Jr QB Rakeem Cato has over 800 passing yards this season - compared to The Giraffe's 517. Though, Cato is a mere 6'0", 188 lbs. - a baby buffalo. Their running game seems to be mediocre, so I think our real concern is going to be in the air. I feel pretty good about our D at the moment, so I'll stick to what the Indians decided - turkey is better than buffalo. Expect 3 INTs from a Fuller or two.
I don't want to say that the water buffalo isn't important. In fact, I think you should donate one here. Apparently, they make darn good milk and help with planting crops. See? They are really good for something. Just not breeding, or running away from arrows.
Ouch.
Get all fired up for this one! Noon kick-off. WHITE effect. How much better can it get?
Did I mention that my ear peeled... and both arms, thanks to the hot, hot sun a couple weeks ago? Ear peeling sucks.
Love those khaki pants with little Hokie birds all over them (from Saturday) which apparently no one can find a picture of on the entire Internet - Thanks a lot, Al Gore,
The B.S.C.
P.S. I officially apologize to BYRN. Spelling will be corrected from now on.
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