I know, I know. I abandoned you. It's been a month and a half since I have been able to sit and force myself to think about our "team". Why can't tailgatefever come back, you ask? Why would they? This is a tough job. Kudos to the people that blog regularly and consistently. For The B.S.C., life gets busy sometimes. And well, when we suck, it's hard to force myself to try to explain all the reasons we suck. So yes, I'm sorry for abandoning you like bad salami. Like old prosciutto. Like our ability to call a reasonable game on Offense.
I just couldn't make myself channel the pain.
We're all orphans, really. Why did our team abandon us? What happened in the off-season this summer that made the Giraffe so egregious?
The biggest question, though, is what is going to happen after tonight. Or, should I say, this afternoon? You know what I say to a 5:30 kick-off? H-A-N-G-O-V-E-R. I don't WANT to have one, but come on... how am I supposed to avoid one? Can YOU watch this chaos without an alcoholic beverage? Enough said.
So after we lose this afternoon, where do we go from here? It sounds like the beginning of a great rock ballad (preferably sung by Terry McDermott).
Take that, Cassadee Pope.
Does Stiney get the heave-ho? What about Bud? Will he leave to be the big man at another school? Does Beamer step down? Or... as always, will we stay the same? But hey, the Worldwide Loser in Sports says that our consistency on our coaching staff is our greatest asset. Awesome. Because, I personally think that filling that empty glass case that's waiting for a National Championship trophy would be our greatest asset. Silly me. Silly, silly Tech fan.
If you think I'm over-reacting, please just keep in mind that our ferocious BIG EAST opponent has a better record than us - 9-3. The Scarlett Knights wear the big red "R" of shame on their unis. "R" for Ridiculous. "R" for Russell? I don't know. I was pretty flippin' confused about it when they announced our great bowl nomination. The Russell Athletic bowl against... Russell Athletics? Have they not named another team yet? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I get it. Rutgers. I forgot they had a football team.
So many people have been complaining about how stupid bowl games have become. I agree. It's a chance to make a little advertising money and sell some t-shirts, I suppose. As a fan, I would rather watch my latest Christmas present of Indiana Jones on Blu-Ray than this game. But, as always, I'll watch... and cringe... and cover my eyes.
The players get a bunch of swag - some give it away - and they go to Disney, and they joke around like they are in the NFL. Is that the point of a bowl game? I think it's sad. As my favorite Ginger said last year - all this junk pre-game is "R" for Ridiculous. Leave it for after the game. Or, leave it out completely. OR... better yet, throw out these junky bowl games.
As The B.S.C.'s spouse put it (and I paraphrase):
In high school, everyone wanted Champion sweatshirts and stuff. Russell was the crappy brand that only the un-cool kids would wear.
Well said, dear spouse. Well said.
We're in the nerd bowl... the un-cool bowl. And, we are so pitiful that we are going to lose to a Big East team.
I can't wait for that trick play this afternoon. We all know it's coming. In every important game, we try something asinine that miserably fails. I'm not talking about the fake punt to G-Dub that worked so nicely at the end of the season. I'm talking about a fake field goal or some sort of flea-flicker that will inevitably turn the ball over and cost us the game.
I think I'm going to go cry now.
So, prepare yourself. I recommend hummus, naan, Irish cheese and salted meats. And, depending on your tastes, something fruity or non-fruity, or even straight up shots. Just have enough to get you through the afternoon.
I think we should wear the big "R" of shame on our jerseys for all of next season if we lose. And, I hope we do. If we don't, I fear the same ol' nonsense next season. Of course, even if we miraculously get the Giraffe from last season this afternoon, and pull out a W, I still fear the same nonsense.
Insanity anyone?
Love John Dalys with Tenure,
The B.S.C.
