I took four pages of notes last week, but I just can't bring myself to type about them this week. I think I'm in a stage of grieving for our football program. I keep going back and forth between bargaining (e.g., "God please just let us beat UVA") and acceptance (e.g., "better luck next year").
All hope is lost.
Pretty much.
I have about 5 minutes to type this blog before I need to post it in order to get it out before the game. Sucks, eh? I wasn't going to post anything... but I figured that a little tid-bit of hope would be helpful this week...
Boston College sucks ALMOST as much as we do.
We sit at the bottom of the Coastal Division, of course. BC is in the middle of the Atlantic Division, but they are only 2-2 in ACC play to our 1-3. There's a little bit of hope there.
Sometimes we manage to beat teams better than us. Worse than us? No. Not this season.
Well... the good news is that The Brain managed to figure out how to avoid INTs. Never. Throw. The. Ball. Down. The. Field.
Vomit.
Even Jesse Palmer was annoyed, and he hates us. And he's Canadian.
When we scored a TD this time (and our ONLY points in the game), with 1:30 left in the fourth quarter... it was time to be sick, maybe shed a tear or two. It was pretty disgusting.
So that's where I'm going to leave this. No more painful reminders from last week.
Can we win this? Yeah. We're at home, it's cold, and it's rainy. Pretty much a perfect Lane Stadium game for November.
Do I think we're going to win? Ehhhh.... no. We may lose out the rest of our season. Our Offense has zero confidence, and I don't think The Hobbit will be able to find any unless something miraculous happens.
Do you believe in miracles?
Love watching this one from home,
The B.S.C.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Making My Heart Flutter Like a Little Girl
Well, it was pretty simple. More TDs than INTs, remember that? Since I am often wrong, I will go ahead and take credit for calling this one. My second grader can tell you that 1 > 1 isn't correct. We are going to continue to lose games if we can't score more TDs. It's as simple as that. And Lord help us, we have The U coming up tonight.
I don't take a look at game stats very often, because I think it bores everyone to death. If you want to know stats, you will look up stats. But I did take a peek at last week's:
- We had 7 punts for 292 yards
- The Hobbit had -15 yards rushing, making our TOTAL net rushing yards for the game... wait for it... 26
- The Hobbit had 265 passing yards (note punting yards above)
- We had THREE fumbles, LUCKILY, we only lost 1
On sPITTle's first series, we recovered a fumble and then promptly went 3 and out. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the game. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. It's amazing our punter can recover every week from all the action. We had no 1st downs in the entire 1st quarter. Even Hoser Boy was confused at The Brain's play-calling. A short route on 3rd and long?
It's only genius if it works.
After seeing another one of The Hobbit's passes batted down, it occurred to me that he should wear boots like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dog is 5'7", but wears boots with lifts, giving him another 3" or so. Don't ask me why I know so much about Dog. And don't judge me!
He still wouldn't be the same height as He Who Shall Not Be Named (HWSNBN), but I think it'd help. It was pretty slick, though, when The Hobbit had a pass batted in the air and then he caught it himself. I guess you learn to do that when it happens to you. All. The. Time.
Random notes:
1. Bucky's Hodges' tattoo definitely says "GOD'S" on one arm, and "GIFT" on the other. Nickname, check.
2. Dadi Nicolas is such awesome-sauce. He blocked a FG. WHAT???? Beamerball????
3. This dude, Andrew Motuapuaka, looks likes he's a Samoan from Hawaii (yet another Dog the Bounty Hunter reference)... yet he's from New Zealand/VA Beach. Huh?
4. AGAIN more injuries throughout the game. Augie Conte left the game in the 4th and Chase Williams left in the 3rd.
5. Scoring our first TD with 4:52 left in the 4th quarter is awkward. Do you cry? Do you cheer?
Dear Worldwide Loser in Sports (WWLS),
It's the B.S.C. checking in again. As Dog and Beth would say, "How'z it?".
Hiring a Hoser to provide commentary on an American sport is pretty ridiculous. Haven't we covered this before? He says stupid things. He mentioned HWSNBN. Not only did he mention "him", but he claimed that we had no play-makers over the past 2 years for "him". Really???? That was our problem?
Your Hoser made me almost vomit. In. My. Mouth.
Then, in the spirit of being unbiased, he said that The Hobbit "doesn't have the strongest arm in the world." Acca-scuse me?
Just because HWSNBN rifled off every pass at the same velocity, regardless of where it was going, doesn't mean "he" was a better QB. I think The Hobbit's arm is just fine, thanks. And I'll take him over HWSNBN any day.
AND, if the sPITTle QB is so fantastic, which you all kept saying over and over, why did he have to rush more than their RB? Perhaps HE doesn't have the strongest arm in the world.
Oh, and one more thing. Try to keep up with the game. When Bucky Hodges made that great catch in the 3rd, you showed "Call Reversed" on the screen, when the call stood. Is it that hard to put up a pre-made graphic real-time?
Not impressed,
The B.S.C.
P.S. It's pronounced "muh-TOO-uh-poo-WAH-kuh". You get paid to memorize that stuff, right?
Moving on to tonight...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
OK, I think I got that out of my system. I can't pretend that I don't want to beat The U. I have this in my closet (which would be on my body if I lost a little weight. Again, don judge me!):
I also have this license plate:
So, yeah... I hate The U. Why? I've said it before: I hate any team who has a huge fan base of people who have never been to the school. This applies to many, many teams... Notre Dame, UNC, Duke, WVU, Ohio State, and on and on. I just happen to hate Miami in general because, well, they're special. Our games against Miami are always crazy. Remember this? I was there... and I certainly do.
That still makes my heart flutter. Like a little girl.
Dear Fan,
Prescription for tonight: Watch video. Rinse. Repeat.
Do hourly before kick-off.
Love,
The B.S.C.
We are both 4-3 coming into tonight. Seems like the good ole U is having a crap-tastic season, Hokie-style, with losses to Louisville, Nebraska, and Georgia Tech. This puppy seems to be a toss-up. They have a much more effective Offense than we do, especially with our current running situation. BUT, they do have 9 INTs this season, which means they do have some weaknesses that Bud can exploit. We need Fuller to have a BIG game. HUGE!
We also need to establish some sort of running game if we have any hopes of creating an effective Offense for the rest of the season. The Brain needs to figure out some sort of running back mix that can actually move the ball for 100 yards per game. With Williams back in the line-up tonight, maybe we can do that.
Let's just sit back, consume a little (or a lot of) alcohol, and hope that we step up and beat this team, for Mediocrity-Bragging-Rights-sake.
More TDs than INTs. More TDs than INTs. Go sit in your closet and hum that for a while (in between video viewing).
Give 'em Hell, Bud!
Love when The Baby Blue Blankies make an uh-oh,
The B.S.C.
P.S. Did anyone see us on GMA this morning? Now that's an engineering school!
I don't take a look at game stats very often, because I think it bores everyone to death. If you want to know stats, you will look up stats. But I did take a peek at last week's:
- We had 7 punts for 292 yards
- The Hobbit had -15 yards rushing, making our TOTAL net rushing yards for the game... wait for it... 26
- The Hobbit had 265 passing yards (note punting yards above)
- We had THREE fumbles, LUCKILY, we only lost 1
On sPITTle's first series, we recovered a fumble and then promptly went 3 and out. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the game. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. It's amazing our punter can recover every week from all the action. We had no 1st downs in the entire 1st quarter. Even Hoser Boy was confused at The Brain's play-calling. A short route on 3rd and long?
It's only genius if it works.
After seeing another one of The Hobbit's passes batted down, it occurred to me that he should wear boots like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dog is 5'7", but wears boots with lifts, giving him another 3" or so. Don't ask me why I know so much about Dog. And don't judge me!
He still wouldn't be the same height as He Who Shall Not Be Named (HWSNBN), but I think it'd help. It was pretty slick, though, when The Hobbit had a pass batted in the air and then he caught it himself. I guess you learn to do that when it happens to you. All. The. Time.
Random notes:
1. Bucky's Hodges' tattoo definitely says "GOD'S" on one arm, and "GIFT" on the other. Nickname, check.
2. Dadi Nicolas is such awesome-sauce. He blocked a FG. WHAT???? Beamerball????
3. This dude, Andrew Motuapuaka, looks likes he's a Samoan from Hawaii (yet another Dog the Bounty Hunter reference)... yet he's from New Zealand/VA Beach. Huh?
4. AGAIN more injuries throughout the game. Augie Conte left the game in the 4th and Chase Williams left in the 3rd.
5. Scoring our first TD with 4:52 left in the 4th quarter is awkward. Do you cry? Do you cheer?
Dear Worldwide Loser in Sports (WWLS),
It's the B.S.C. checking in again. As Dog and Beth would say, "How'z it?".
Hiring a Hoser to provide commentary on an American sport is pretty ridiculous. Haven't we covered this before? He says stupid things. He mentioned HWSNBN. Not only did he mention "him", but he claimed that we had no play-makers over the past 2 years for "him". Really???? That was our problem?
Your Hoser made me almost vomit. In. My. Mouth.
Then, in the spirit of being unbiased, he said that The Hobbit "doesn't have the strongest arm in the world." Acca-scuse me?
Just because HWSNBN rifled off every pass at the same velocity, regardless of where it was going, doesn't mean "he" was a better QB. I think The Hobbit's arm is just fine, thanks. And I'll take him over HWSNBN any day.
AND, if the sPITTle QB is so fantastic, which you all kept saying over and over, why did he have to rush more than their RB? Perhaps HE doesn't have the strongest arm in the world.
Oh, and one more thing. Try to keep up with the game. When Bucky Hodges made that great catch in the 3rd, you showed "Call Reversed" on the screen, when the call stood. Is it that hard to put up a pre-made graphic real-time?
Not impressed,
The B.S.C.
P.S. It's pronounced "muh-TOO-uh-poo-WAH-kuh". You get paid to memorize that stuff, right?
Moving on to tonight...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
OK, I think I got that out of my system. I can't pretend that I don't want to beat The U. I have this in my closet (which would be on my body if I lost a little weight. Again, don judge me!):
So, yeah... I hate The U. Why? I've said it before: I hate any team who has a huge fan base of people who have never been to the school. This applies to many, many teams... Notre Dame, UNC, Duke, WVU, Ohio State, and on and on. I just happen to hate Miami in general because, well, they're special. Our games against Miami are always crazy. Remember this? I was there... and I certainly do.
That still makes my heart flutter. Like a little girl.
Dear Fan,
Prescription for tonight: Watch video. Rinse. Repeat.
Do hourly before kick-off.
Love,
The B.S.C.
We are both 4-3 coming into tonight. Seems like the good ole U is having a crap-tastic season, Hokie-style, with losses to Louisville, Nebraska, and Georgia Tech. This puppy seems to be a toss-up. They have a much more effective Offense than we do, especially with our current running situation. BUT, they do have 9 INTs this season, which means they do have some weaknesses that Bud can exploit. We need Fuller to have a BIG game. HUGE!
We also need to establish some sort of running game if we have any hopes of creating an effective Offense for the rest of the season. The Brain needs to figure out some sort of running back mix that can actually move the ball for 100 yards per game. With Williams back in the line-up tonight, maybe we can do that.
Let's just sit back, consume a little (or a lot of) alcohol, and hope that we step up and beat this team, for Mediocrity-Bragging-Rights-sake.
More TDs than INTs. More TDs than INTs. Go sit in your closet and hum that for a while (in between video viewing).
Give 'em Hell, Bud!
Love when The Baby Blue Blankies make an uh-oh,
The B.S.C.
P.S. Did anyone see us on GMA this morning? Now that's an engineering school!
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Fire Frank Beamer, AKA, How LUCKY Are We
Is it just me, or do the Baby Blue Blankie camo helmets look like fluffy clouds against pretty blue skies? That's super-hard core helmet decor, man. Super. Hard. Core.
Wow, was that a lame game, or what? Lame helmets. Lame stats. Even my notes were lame. Speaking of lame:
- Maddy is out 2-4 weeks with a torn meniscus
- Facyson is out the rest of the season with a leg injury
- Spuds has a torn ACL, out for the rest of the season
- Edmunds is out 6-8 weeks with a broken clavicle
- Williams sprained his ankle playing the Fluffy Clouds and will not play tonight
What's up with all the injuries? I, of course, assume what I've always assumed (since hearing from a former player that Beamer babies the players during practices and treats them like they don't NEED to practice):
THEY ARE GETTING HURT BECAUSE THEY AREN'T PROPERLY PREPARING FOR GAMES!
If the above isn't true, then I suppose that we've just got really horrible luck. Horrible, horrible "luck". And if THAT is true, then I guess Stiney had horrible "luck", and Bud just has good "luck" with his Defense, etc., etc., etc...
You get the idea. In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I just googled "fire Frank Beamer", and to my dismay, there is no site with this name. Instead, it goes straight to http://www.beamerball.com/free/index.htm, which is sorta disturbing. Did he really have to purchase that website name in order to stop websites like those that asked for the dismissal of Stiney? I call for an all out B.S.C. REVOLT! Who is ready to start a fire Beamer blog??? You?
Someone will do it. I have faith.
"Luckily", during the lame game they showed this beautiful stat that the Hobbit had 9 TDs and 10 INTs. To make sure that we didn't lose this badge of honor, the Hobbit now has 10 TDs and 11 INTs going into tonight's game. Super. Awesome-sauce.
For the record, he had 0 INTs at Texas Tech. Lucky us.
In unrelated news, I am searching for a picture of Bucky Hodges' tattoos. Stay tuned.
I am pretty excited tonight, just for the mere fact that The Worldwide Loser in Sports has to endure this Thursday night prime time game with two unranked - admittedly crappy - ACC teams. HILARIOUS! Take that and shove it in your pie hole, Lou Holtz.
I know, I know, Thursday night games should pump me up. It's just hard, you know, getting super excited this season. I am excited that I can have a drink tonight, because, everyone knows that Thursday night is the official start to the weekend. I am also excited to see a lot of Samwise tonight, because, well, we have no other choices. I am also excited that sPITTle isn't too hot this year, so we've got a good shot to win another match of Mediocrity Bragging Rights tonight. I'm sure there's a home somewhere in the world where this game makes a difference. Somewhere. Out. There.
I could play that on the ol' keyboard back in the day. It was the keyboard jam in our house in the '80s. More awesome-sauce.
sPITTle is on a 3-game losing streak. I really do hope we can make it 4. They lost to UVA, fer cryin' in the mud! They did beat Boston College earlier in the season... so that's a tad scary.
If the hobbits show up to play, and our TDs are greater than our INTs, then we have a good chance of winning this one, with some LUCK. Anything can happen this year, though, so I'm just going to depend on vodka, my old dependable friend, to see me through.
Love to get some good game notes this week,
The B.S.C.
Wow, was that a lame game, or what? Lame helmets. Lame stats. Even my notes were lame. Speaking of lame:
- Maddy is out 2-4 weeks with a torn meniscus
- Facyson is out the rest of the season with a leg injury
- Spuds has a torn ACL, out for the rest of the season
- Edmunds is out 6-8 weeks with a broken clavicle
- Williams sprained his ankle playing the Fluffy Clouds and will not play tonight
What's up with all the injuries? I, of course, assume what I've always assumed (since hearing from a former player that Beamer babies the players during practices and treats them like they don't NEED to practice):
THEY ARE GETTING HURT BECAUSE THEY AREN'T PROPERLY PREPARING FOR GAMES!
If the above isn't true, then I suppose that we've just got really horrible luck. Horrible, horrible "luck". And if THAT is true, then I guess Stiney had horrible "luck", and Bud just has good "luck" with his Defense, etc., etc., etc...
You get the idea. In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I just googled "fire Frank Beamer", and to my dismay, there is no site with this name. Instead, it goes straight to http://www.beamerball.com/free/index.htm, which is sorta disturbing. Did he really have to purchase that website name in order to stop websites like those that asked for the dismissal of Stiney? I call for an all out B.S.C. REVOLT! Who is ready to start a fire Beamer blog??? You?
Someone will do it. I have faith.
"Luckily", during the lame game they showed this beautiful stat that the Hobbit had 9 TDs and 10 INTs. To make sure that we didn't lose this badge of honor, the Hobbit now has 10 TDs and 11 INTs going into tonight's game. Super. Awesome-sauce.
For the record, he had 0 INTs at Texas Tech. Lucky us.
In unrelated news, I am searching for a picture of Bucky Hodges' tattoos. Stay tuned.
I am pretty excited tonight, just for the mere fact that The Worldwide Loser in Sports has to endure this Thursday night prime time game with two unranked - admittedly crappy - ACC teams. HILARIOUS! Take that and shove it in your pie hole, Lou Holtz.
I know, I know, Thursday night games should pump me up. It's just hard, you know, getting super excited this season. I am excited that I can have a drink tonight, because, everyone knows that Thursday night is the official start to the weekend. I am also excited to see a lot of Samwise tonight, because, well, we have no other choices. I am also excited that sPITTle isn't too hot this year, so we've got a good shot to win another match of Mediocrity Bragging Rights tonight. I'm sure there's a home somewhere in the world where this game makes a difference. Somewhere. Out. There.
I could play that on the ol' keyboard back in the day. It was the keyboard jam in our house in the '80s. More awesome-sauce.
sPITTle is on a 3-game losing streak. I really do hope we can make it 4. They lost to UVA, fer cryin' in the mud! They did beat Boston College earlier in the season... so that's a tad scary.
If the hobbits show up to play, and our TDs are greater than our INTs, then we have a good chance of winning this one, with some LUCK. Anything can happen this year, though, so I'm just going to depend on vodka, my old dependable friend, to see me through.
Love to get some good game notes this week,
The B.S.C.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Mouse Exhaustion: A Real Disease
What did I say about That High School Team? We needed to score 39 points to win. Thanks to Bud, we cut that down to just 28, but we STILL couldn't do it.
I listened to this one thanks to Al Gore and I'm sure all he did to establish satellite radio. We literally had our Sirius turned on with 6 minutes to spare before the game started, all while driving down to the House of Mouse on 95.
My first question of the day was: Why would Thad Lee transfer from That High School Team to JMU?
My second: Why is Williams starting, AGAIN?
Insert a lunch stop here. Friendly Kenly. It's exit 106 in NC. Believe me, you won't miss it. It's the truck stop with a lighthouse in the front, decorative of course. That place was awesome... a Wendy's, a Subway, a Caribou Coffee... all with clean tables in sort of a food-court setting. PLUS, all the awesomeness of a truck stop that carries random clothing and Harley stuff, and even truck supplies. It's our new favorite stop on 95. Mark it down!
At the half, the score was 16-10. That High School Team was running allllllllll over us. Then Kalvin Cline reappeared, there were fumbles, blocked kicks, interceptions returned for TDs, and on and on and on. Not that it had anything to do with Klein. It was nice to see him again.
When Thomas, the new HS QB, can't throw - is it still considered an option?
Ponder that one for a while...
Maybe he is distantly related to He Who Shall Not Be Named.
Well, I was almost right about accepting the one INT per quarter... we had 3. The only good thing that came out of this game is some nickname solidification:
Willie Byrn: The Paper Boy
Loeffler: The Brain
Brewer: The Hobbit
Sam Rogers: Samwise
and new to the mix...
McKenzie: Spuds
Then we move on to last weekend's game against Some Team from Michigan. And thankfully, Sirius didn't carry it. Surprise! I mean, I wouldn't carry it either if I were them. So no notes, nothing. And I was so glad.
The House of Mouse, with four children and my parents, was completely and utterly exhausting. I think that this illness is so prevalent in Disney-goers that we should officially name it, you guessed it, MOUSE EXHAUSTION (ME). You've gotta rush to a ride here and then a ride there, and then rush to see this parade or this character or find this doll. Oh wait, stand up in line here for an hour. Walk across this park here in 100% humidity. Lunch requires stalking prey like leopards. You have to split up and look for signs of weakness in order to find enough seating for your large group to feed. And it rains... either torrential down-pours or just little 15-minute thunder storms. Just enough to soak you and make someone, or everyone, miserable.
It's all part of ME. The only way to combat ME? Alcohol and laziness. Lots and lots of laziness.
We are almost back to normal in The B.S.C. house thanks to the prescription above. I'm back to snotty, which I now blame solely on either my house or northern VA. The kids are alive. My parents are alive. All is good.
Enter the Baby Blue Blankies in a couple hours. I'm not going to do a game run-down. I just don't have the energy or mental capacity. Blame ME.
Did I mention we babysat 3 additional children last night?
We should be scared of the Blankies. Mediocrity Bragging Rights in a house in Lincolnton, North Carolina are resting on this one game of the season. If we can somehow manage to organize the hobbits, we may be able to get back on track. This is going to be a tough one, though...
Peace out until next week. Let's see if some football can actually inspire a post!
Love the squatchy-ness of 95,
The B.S.C.
I listened to this one thanks to Al Gore and I'm sure all he did to establish satellite radio. We literally had our Sirius turned on with 6 minutes to spare before the game started, all while driving down to the House of Mouse on 95.
My first question of the day was: Why would Thad Lee transfer from That High School Team to JMU?
My second: Why is Williams starting, AGAIN?
Insert a lunch stop here. Friendly Kenly. It's exit 106 in NC. Believe me, you won't miss it. It's the truck stop with a lighthouse in the front, decorative of course. That place was awesome... a Wendy's, a Subway, a Caribou Coffee... all with clean tables in sort of a food-court setting. PLUS, all the awesomeness of a truck stop that carries random clothing and Harley stuff, and even truck supplies. It's our new favorite stop on 95. Mark it down!
At the half, the score was 16-10. That High School Team was running allllllllll over us. Then Kalvin Cline reappeared, there were fumbles, blocked kicks, interceptions returned for TDs, and on and on and on. Not that it had anything to do with Klein. It was nice to see him again.
When Thomas, the new HS QB, can't throw - is it still considered an option?
Ponder that one for a while...
Maybe he is distantly related to He Who Shall Not Be Named.
Well, I was almost right about accepting the one INT per quarter... we had 3. The only good thing that came out of this game is some nickname solidification:
Willie Byrn: The Paper Boy
Loeffler: The Brain
Brewer: The Hobbit
Sam Rogers: Samwise
and new to the mix...
McKenzie: Spuds
Then we move on to last weekend's game against Some Team from Michigan. And thankfully, Sirius didn't carry it. Surprise! I mean, I wouldn't carry it either if I were them. So no notes, nothing. And I was so glad.
The House of Mouse, with four children and my parents, was completely and utterly exhausting. I think that this illness is so prevalent in Disney-goers that we should officially name it, you guessed it, MOUSE EXHAUSTION (ME). You've gotta rush to a ride here and then a ride there, and then rush to see this parade or this character or find this doll. Oh wait, stand up in line here for an hour. Walk across this park here in 100% humidity. Lunch requires stalking prey like leopards. You have to split up and look for signs of weakness in order to find enough seating for your large group to feed. And it rains... either torrential down-pours or just little 15-minute thunder storms. Just enough to soak you and make someone, or everyone, miserable.
It's all part of ME. The only way to combat ME? Alcohol and laziness. Lots and lots of laziness.
We are almost back to normal in The B.S.C. house thanks to the prescription above. I'm back to snotty, which I now blame solely on either my house or northern VA. The kids are alive. My parents are alive. All is good.
Enter the Baby Blue Blankies in a couple hours. I'm not going to do a game run-down. I just don't have the energy or mental capacity. Blame ME.
Did I mention we babysat 3 additional children last night?
We should be scared of the Blankies. Mediocrity Bragging Rights in a house in Lincolnton, North Carolina are resting on this one game of the season. If we can somehow manage to organize the hobbits, we may be able to get back on track. This is going to be a tough one, though...
Peace out until next week. Let's see if some football can actually inspire a post!
Love the squatchy-ness of 95,
The B.S.C.
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Crap-tastically Late and Definitely Snotty
So this puppy is late, and for that I apologize. I would like to list out all my great reasons for having this crap-tastically late post:
1. My better half was out of town most of this week in the land of "the other lobster rolls", aka, Connecticut.
2. Elementary school germs. Three snotty kids. Sick B.S.C..
3. I am literally writing this on my phone on 95, heading to the land of "no lobster rolls", aka, Disney World.
4. Note packing for number 3 above with number 1 and 2 above.
5. Oh yeah, and we lost to That People Team.
I will admit that I couldn't make myself watch the game last week. I had it taped but then someone told me the outcome (thanks, jerk). Combine 1 and 2 and 4 above... and well, it just wasn't going to happen. At least we aren't ranked now. The roller coaster is back down the hill, and we can all go back to our normal cynical selves. Yeah, yeah, I admit, it's much easier for me to be snarky than all believe-y, like last week. Thank you for restoring the norm, That Purple Team.
You can still shove my cynicism in your pie holes, Worldwide Boozer in Sports.
I just couldn't let the week go by without a comment on the Triple Crown, Point Spread, Option. I wonder what magnificent word the ESPN noon crowd will call that - which is basically high school football - today.
Bud has this game. He's been dreaming of this crap for months, and after feverishly chewing 12 packs of Big Red last Saturday, he's amped and ready.
Being insensitive to endangered species everywhere, we will of course only refer to Georgia
Tech as That High School Team.
Other than Bud, the key to beating That High School Team is simple: score 39 points. They've won all three of their games this year, scoring exactly 38 points in each.
No score 38, no win.
OK, writing on my phone is getting old. Don't hold your breath for next week, but I'll try to check in.
Go hobbits!
Love glorious rest stops all over 95 South,
The B.S.C.
1. My better half was out of town most of this week in the land of "the other lobster rolls", aka, Connecticut.
2. Elementary school germs. Three snotty kids. Sick B.S.C..
3. I am literally writing this on my phone on 95, heading to the land of "no lobster rolls", aka, Disney World.
4. Note packing for number 3 above with number 1 and 2 above.
5. Oh yeah, and we lost to That People Team.
I will admit that I couldn't make myself watch the game last week. I had it taped but then someone told me the outcome (thanks, jerk). Combine 1 and 2 and 4 above... and well, it just wasn't going to happen. At least we aren't ranked now. The roller coaster is back down the hill, and we can all go back to our normal cynical selves. Yeah, yeah, I admit, it's much easier for me to be snarky than all believe-y, like last week. Thank you for restoring the norm, That Purple Team.
You can still shove my cynicism in your pie holes, Worldwide Boozer in Sports.
I just couldn't let the week go by without a comment on the Triple Crown, Point Spread, Option. I wonder what magnificent word the ESPN noon crowd will call that - which is basically high school football - today.
Bud has this game. He's been dreaming of this crap for months, and after feverishly chewing 12 packs of Big Red last Saturday, he's amped and ready.
Being insensitive to endangered species everywhere, we will of course only refer to Georgia
Tech as That High School Team.
Other than Bud, the key to beating That High School Team is simple: score 39 points. They've won all three of their games this year, scoring exactly 38 points in each.
No score 38, no win.
OK, writing on my phone is getting old. Don't hold your breath for next week, but I'll try to check in.
Go hobbits!
Love glorious rest stops all over 95 South,
The B.S.C.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Our Little Hobbit Becomes a Real Hokie, Yes, A Real Hokie
Oh, Mr. JT... you didn't have anything for me. Or at least, nothing that Bud couldn't handle. Nothing.
Yes, I know, I made you feel very uncomfortable with the song last week. I get it. It was a little awkward to think of Beamer singing such things. But hey, uncomfortable worked. Uncomfortable won.
The Hobbit, according to the Worldwide Loser in Sports, is...
- an undersized Academic Wonder
- not fast
- not an over-powering arm
- not the biggest
and, "doesn't look the part".
Dear ESPN,
I get it; he's The Hobbit! He threw an interception during the 1st series right after a roughing-the-passer penalty put us in Ohio State territory. That was bloody egregious and I thought to myself, "Oh wonderful! This is how it's gonna go."
But then it didn't. And we actually put together drives and stuff!
So... do we really want someone who can "look the part"???? Really? Didn't we, ....ohhhhh, I don't know.... go through that with He Who Shall Not Be Named for so many flippin' years that I don't even want to think about it???? Give me a flippin' break, ESPN. You guys are idiots. You don't "look the part" of competent announcers, now do you?
I'll take The Hobbit. I'll expect an interception every game, maybe even every quarter! But if he gets over it, then darn it, so can we!
You know where you can shove your part-looking.
Oh, and by the way, by the end of the game, you said things like, he makes "good, quick decisions". And, he's a "cool customer". Oh, and he "established himself as a leader".
You guys are fools.
And how many times do you need to say, "the horseshoe"???
Love any other broadcast crew,
The B.S.C.
There are so many things I liked this game that I will just sorta list them out.
1. The no-huddle. Love it. Keep it forever.
2. Willie Byrn. The Paper Boy. Love him. Keep him forever.
3. Bucky Hodges, a QB turned TE. WHAT??? Love it. Do that from now on, never the other way around.
4. Shanked field goals by Ohio State. Awesome-sauce.
5. Ryan Malleck. Love him. Keep him forever, too.
6. Derek Di Nardo. He's been playing with us 4 seasons? Really? He is now a presence to be reckoned with. He had 3 tackles and 2 sacks. Love him. Keep him forever.
7. Kyshoen Jarrett is a beast. He was the Nagurski National Defensive Player of the Week. Love him. Keep him forever.
What I didn't enjoy were the lack of penalties called on Ohio State. It was border-line ridiculous. They also picked on cornerback Chuck Clark big-time. This kept Fuller out of the game, pretty much. I just hope Clark will step up to the challenge. I think this is going to happen A LOT. I also didn't enjoy the fact that we kept putting Williams in. Over and over and over. Why not McKenzie? I don't know. Maybe Loeffler has some secret plan that we haven't yet figured out in regards to the running game. Heck, the play of the game involved Edmunds blocking with Newsome running. I don't know, but since we won I will just say Loeffler is a genius. Maybe he's an evil genius - that has yet to be determined. But, let us now call him The Brain...
In keeping with the LOTR theme, fullback Sam Rogers is now officially and forever-more, Samwise. Samwise got his first TD this past weekend. Yay hobbits!
So, there it is. The horseshoe was not so impressive. I hated Ohio State without ever playing them... and I'm pretty sure I still hate them. They are like Notre Dame or WVU. People are fans just because. No good reason. Their idea of third down chaos is to hold up 3 fingers. Wooooaaaaahhhhh there, Nelly! You are going to deafen us with your hand gestures!
There were interceptions and fumbles and missed field goals. And yet we are now #17 AP, #19 USA Today, and #13 in the Power Rankings.
Holy flying leap into the rankings, Batman!
Next up, ECU. Due to political correctness and sensitivity to people with eye patches everywhere, we will only refer to ECU as ECU or That Purple Team. That's it. (Note to Etsy: any reference to eye patches is offensive and should be removed from your site.)
That Purple Team is 1-1 on the season, with a not-so-awful-loss to a ranked South Carolina team. They only lost by 10 points. Their rushing game doesn't seem to be stellar, but oh my, they have quite the air game.
Their QB, Shane Carden, already has 604 passing yards and 4 TDs on the season. Yikes! Chuck Clark better be ready for this one, because they are coming his way.
Predictions:
1 INT by Fuller and 1 INT by Jarrett
This game is pretty scary, but I'm going to have faith and just believe we can do anything this season. Why not? We were bound to win a game like Ohio State's one day, and we did. We'll be the Cinderella-story of the season! I know, this is not my norm. And I can't promise doom and gloom in the near future. But let's see what it's like to act all happy-go-lucky for a game and see where it takes us.
Shove that in your pie-hole, Worldwide Loser in Sports! The B.S.C. is calling it RIGHT NOW!
As Tailgate Fever would say...
I believe.
Love QBs who are QBs,
The B.S.C.
P.S. You ARE a Hokie now, Hobbit, Yes, yes, you ARE.
Yes, I know, I made you feel very uncomfortable with the song last week. I get it. It was a little awkward to think of Beamer singing such things. But hey, uncomfortable worked. Uncomfortable won.
The Hobbit, according to the Worldwide Loser in Sports, is...
- an undersized Academic Wonder
- not fast
- not an over-powering arm
- not the biggest
and, "doesn't look the part".
Dear ESPN,
I get it; he's The Hobbit! He threw an interception during the 1st series right after a roughing-the-passer penalty put us in Ohio State territory. That was bloody egregious and I thought to myself, "Oh wonderful! This is how it's gonna go."
But then it didn't. And we actually put together drives and stuff!
So... do we really want someone who can "look the part"???? Really? Didn't we, ....ohhhhh, I don't know.... go through that with He Who Shall Not Be Named for so many flippin' years that I don't even want to think about it???? Give me a flippin' break, ESPN. You guys are idiots. You don't "look the part" of competent announcers, now do you?
I'll take The Hobbit. I'll expect an interception every game, maybe even every quarter! But if he gets over it, then darn it, so can we!
You know where you can shove your part-looking.
Oh, and by the way, by the end of the game, you said things like, he makes "good, quick decisions". And, he's a "cool customer". Oh, and he "established himself as a leader".
You guys are fools.
And how many times do you need to say, "the horseshoe"???
Love any other broadcast crew,
The B.S.C.
There are so many things I liked this game that I will just sorta list them out.
1. The no-huddle. Love it. Keep it forever.
2. Willie Byrn. The Paper Boy. Love him. Keep him forever.
3. Bucky Hodges, a QB turned TE. WHAT??? Love it. Do that from now on, never the other way around.
4. Shanked field goals by Ohio State. Awesome-sauce.
5. Ryan Malleck. Love him. Keep him forever, too.
6. Derek Di Nardo. He's been playing with us 4 seasons? Really? He is now a presence to be reckoned with. He had 3 tackles and 2 sacks. Love him. Keep him forever.
7. Kyshoen Jarrett is a beast. He was the Nagurski National Defensive Player of the Week. Love him. Keep him forever.
What I didn't enjoy were the lack of penalties called on Ohio State. It was border-line ridiculous. They also picked on cornerback Chuck Clark big-time. This kept Fuller out of the game, pretty much. I just hope Clark will step up to the challenge. I think this is going to happen A LOT. I also didn't enjoy the fact that we kept putting Williams in. Over and over and over. Why not McKenzie? I don't know. Maybe Loeffler has some secret plan that we haven't yet figured out in regards to the running game. Heck, the play of the game involved Edmunds blocking with Newsome running. I don't know, but since we won I will just say Loeffler is a genius. Maybe he's an evil genius - that has yet to be determined. But, let us now call him The Brain...
In keeping with the LOTR theme, fullback Sam Rogers is now officially and forever-more, Samwise. Samwise got his first TD this past weekend. Yay hobbits!
So, there it is. The horseshoe was not so impressive. I hated Ohio State without ever playing them... and I'm pretty sure I still hate them. They are like Notre Dame or WVU. People are fans just because. No good reason. Their idea of third down chaos is to hold up 3 fingers. Wooooaaaaahhhhh there, Nelly! You are going to deafen us with your hand gestures!
There were interceptions and fumbles and missed field goals. And yet we are now #17 AP, #19 USA Today, and #13 in the Power Rankings.
Holy flying leap into the rankings, Batman!
Next up, ECU. Due to political correctness and sensitivity to people with eye patches everywhere, we will only refer to ECU as ECU or That Purple Team. That's it. (Note to Etsy: any reference to eye patches is offensive and should be removed from your site.)
That Purple Team is 1-1 on the season, with a not-so-awful-loss to a ranked South Carolina team. They only lost by 10 points. Their rushing game doesn't seem to be stellar, but oh my, they have quite the air game.
Their QB, Shane Carden, already has 604 passing yards and 4 TDs on the season. Yikes! Chuck Clark better be ready for this one, because they are coming his way.
Predictions:
1 INT by Fuller and 1 INT by Jarrett
This game is pretty scary, but I'm going to have faith and just believe we can do anything this season. Why not? We were bound to win a game like Ohio State's one day, and we did. We'll be the Cinderella-story of the season! I know, this is not my norm. And I can't promise doom and gloom in the near future. But let's see what it's like to act all happy-go-lucky for a game and see where it takes us.
Shove that in your pie-hole, Worldwide Loser in Sports! The B.S.C. is calling it RIGHT NOW!
As Tailgate Fever would say...
I believe.
Love QBs who are QBs,
The B.S.C.
P.S. You ARE a Hokie now, Hobbit, Yes, yes, you ARE.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
If Justin Timberlake Ever Applied to a Game
HOLY NIGHTMARE NIGHT GAME, BATMAN!
8:00pm, Saturday night... playing the # 7/8 ranked team in the nation. Oh my goodness. Thanks for setting this one up, Weaves. Way to make an exit.
So I wrote down some notes from the practice game against That Team From Williamsburg last week, but I think I can just condense it into some quick and easy bullet points:
- We have all sorts of new WR and TE options. Me likey!
- The Hobbit is so darn short that he had one ball batted down and one ball tipped and intercepted. The Hobbit!
- As my astute spouse pointed out, Coleman certainly does not look like our starter this season. The true freshmen showed him up. Watch, or no watch (you'll only understand if you were listening to the fantastic announcer crew).
- Where the heck was all the talk about He Who Shall Not Be Named?
That's it. Like it or not, awake or not, that was all that really needs to be said about the game last weekend. It scares me to death. We struggled a little in the beginning until we wore them down by our size. Ummm, yeah.... our size will not benefit us in two days.
These Ohio State kids poo bigger than us (especially The Hobbit).
Per the Ohio State website:
"
HOLY SCARY STATISTICS, BATMAN!
Can we also mention that their stadium has been outfitted to seat 104,944? AND, they are expecting to have a record crowd Saturday night?
We have a few things going for us:
1. Shay McKenzie was the ACC Rookie of the Week, with 106 yards on 9 carries, including a TD. (The spouse has proclaimed him the starter, FYI)
2. Ohio State is featuring J.T. Barrett, a redshirt Freshman, in the QB slot. Inexperience is good, very good, for Bud.
3. Ohio's run defense was crap against Navy, giving up 370 yards. McKenzie? Check.
Speaking of JT...
Dear Mr. JT,
I, The B.S.C., have thought of a perfect karaoke song for you and the boys. See below, with my notes in italics.
I hope you like it. Good luck on Saturday! Try not to get your jersey dirty.
Love,
The B.S.C.
In Bud we must TRUST this week. Defense is going to be our key to the game. If we can keep them from scoring, then we have a chance to let our RBs try to move the ball down the field.
Since Ohio State has shamefully mocked
with its mascot, I will not refer to them by that name. It's either Ohio State or That Team From Columbus.
Let's see how many times we hear He Who Shall Not Be Named during this broadcast. We all know the Worldwide Loser in Sports doesn't do its game prep.
Love What You Got Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh,
The B.S. C.
8:00pm, Saturday night... playing the # 7/8 ranked team in the nation. Oh my goodness. Thanks for setting this one up, Weaves. Way to make an exit.
So I wrote down some notes from the practice game against That Team From Williamsburg last week, but I think I can just condense it into some quick and easy bullet points:
- We have all sorts of new WR and TE options. Me likey!
- The Hobbit is so darn short that he had one ball batted down and one ball tipped and intercepted. The Hobbit!
- As my astute spouse pointed out, Coleman certainly does not look like our starter this season. The true freshmen showed him up. Watch, or no watch (you'll only understand if you were listening to the fantastic announcer crew).
- Where the heck was all the talk about He Who Shall Not Be Named?
- We really did stay thirsty, didn't we?
- Snooze-fest results: Win, 34-9That's it. Like it or not, awake or not, that was all that really needs to be said about the game last weekend. It scares me to death. We struggled a little in the beginning until we wore them down by our size. Ummm, yeah.... our size will not benefit us in two days.
These Ohio State kids poo bigger than us (especially The Hobbit).
Per the Ohio State website:
"
FIRST AND 10
- Ohio State enters Saturday with the nation's longest regular-season winning streak at 25 games.
- Ohio State and Virginia Tech are meeting for the first time Saturday.
- Ohio State has won 35 consecutive home openers; the last loss coming in 1978 to Penn State.
- The Buckeyes are 112-8-4 all-time in home openers since 1890.
- Ohio State is 39-22 all-time in night games (games 5 p.m. or later) and have won its last five night games at Ohio Stadium.
- Ohio State has not lost a night game at Ohio Stadium since 2009 (USC).
- Ohio State is 74-7 overall at Ohio Stadium since the start of the 2002 season.
- Ohio State has won 64 consecutive regular-season home games against unranked, non-conference opponents. The last loss: 34-17 to Florida State, Oct. 2, 1982.
- Redshirt freshman QB J.T. Barrett was named the Big Ten co-Freshman of the Week for his performance in the win vs. Navy.
- Head coach Urban Meyer is 48-4 in his career in games played in August/September.
HOLY SCARY STATISTICS, BATMAN!
Can we also mention that their stadium has been outfitted to seat 104,944? AND, they are expecting to have a record crowd Saturday night?
We have a few things going for us:
1. Shay McKenzie was the ACC Rookie of the Week, with 106 yards on 9 carries, including a TD. (The spouse has proclaimed him the starter, FYI)
2. Ohio State is featuring J.T. Barrett, a redshirt Freshman, in the QB slot. Inexperience is good, very good, for Bud.
3. Ohio's run defense was crap against Navy, giving up 370 yards. McKenzie? Check.
Speaking of JT...
Dear Mr. JT,
I, The B.S.C., have thought of a perfect karaoke song for you and the boys. See below, with my notes in italics.
Bud sings:
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got, what you got?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got, what you got?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got for me?
Mr. JT, now, what you got?
You sing:
You're sneaky, from the corner of my eye
I saw you eyeing me, I know that you're watching
Tell me, what would you do if I encouraged you
To get next to me, when nobody's watching?
I saw you eyeing me, I know that you're watching
Tell me, what would you do if I encouraged you
To get next to me, when nobody's watching?
Bud sings:
The way your body keeps moving
Is something that makes me weak
Let's start our own little secrets
For just you and me to keep
Too late to come or shy now
You've already gone this far
Is something that makes me weak
Let's start our own little secrets
For just you and me to keep
Too late to come or shy now
You've already gone this far
Beamer and Urban Meyer sing:
So, baby make your move, take charge
(Ooh)
Show me what you got for me
(Ooh)
Show me what you got for me
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands feeling on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
What you got for me?
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands feeling on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
What you got for me?
You sing:
Baby, I can tell that you want to do more
Than just dance with me and I don't mind you flirting
But honestly, do you really wanna spend
The whole night passing looks at me?
(Looks at me) (You look at Bud)
Come over here and get to working
Than just dance with me and I don't mind you flirting
But honestly, do you really wanna spend
The whole night passing looks at me?
(Looks at me) (You look at Bud)
Come over here and get to working
Bud sings:
The way your body keeps moving
Is something that makes me weak
(Makes me weak)
Let's start our own little secrets
(Yeah)
For just you and me to keep
(Us to keep)
Too late to come or shy now
You've already gone this far
Is something that makes me weak
(Makes me weak)
Let's start our own little secrets
(Yeah)
For just you and me to keep
(Us to keep)
Too late to come or shy now
You've already gone this far
Beamer and Urban Meyer sing:
So, baby make your move, take charge
(Ooh)
Show me what you got for me
(Ooh)
Show me what you got for me
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands feeling on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
What you got for me?
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands feeling on me?
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
What you got for me?
Everyone sings:
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh no
(Oh no)
(Oh no)
Beamer and Urban Meyer sing:
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
(Your hands)
Oh no
(No)
Is that your hands feeling on me?
(Your hands)
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
(Your hands)
Oh no
(No)
Is that your hands feeling on me?
(Your hands)
Oh no, girl
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
(Your hands, rubbing on me)
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
(If that's your hands)
What you got for me?
Is that your hands rubbing on me?
(Your hands, rubbing on me)
If so, girl
If that's your hands, then tell me
(If that's your hands)
What you got for me?
Everyone sings:
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
What you got?
Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh
Oh no, your hands feeling on me
Oh no, your hands rubbing on me
Oh no, your hands rubbing on me
I hope you like it. Good luck on Saturday! Try not to get your jersey dirty.
Love,
The B.S.C.
In Bud we must TRUST this week. Defense is going to be our key to the game. If we can keep them from scoring, then we have a chance to let our RBs try to move the ball down the field.
Since Ohio State has shamefully mocked
- 1. a North American tree or shrub related to the horse chestnut, with showy yellow, red, or white flowers.
OR
- 2.an orange and brown New World butterfly with conspicuous eyespots on the wings.
with its mascot, I will not refer to them by that name. It's either Ohio State or That Team From Columbus.
Let's see how many times we hear He Who Shall Not Be Named during this broadcast. We all know the Worldwide Loser in Sports doesn't do its game prep.
Love What You Got Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh,
The B.S. C.
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Life After The Specimen
As I shake the cobwebs, dirt, and daddy long-legs off this blog, getting ready for a new season, I wonder only one thing:
I will refer to them strictly as the team from William and Mary, THE COLLEGE OF, and that's it, or "that Williamsburg team".
In closing, I just want to say that I have no freakin' idea what this season is going to be like. I have zero expectations, which is nice. I guess we can only improve in my book, because we couldn't get much worse. Let's just pretend we're in Colorado and go with the flow on this one. We'll ride the roller coaster for what it's worth and try not to expect too much. And, we will drink every time they mention HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED during the TV broadcasts. Deal?
Deal.
As a made-up wise man once said, "Stay thirsty my friends".
Love and respectable football chest bumps,
The B.S.C.
Will I be able to actually blog for a full season this year?
Over the past few years, I just can't stomach anything by the end of the season. He Who Shall Not Be Named is finally gone, and I am hoping that this means that we can at least be respectable. 6'6", 248 pounds, 245 pounds, 260 pounds... is allllllllll gone. G-O-N-E! Who cares what happens to "him", but I hear giraffes do just fine in the desert.
So now what? Where do we go from here? [insert violin elevator music here]
Thankfully Le-Allll has been condemned to back-up status. From what we saw of him last year, it seemed like no one on our staff had any confidence in him. And you know how lax we are with our QB standards! Right now he's listed as our #2 guy.
Somehow Stiney managed to steal an Ohio kid from Michigan State, Chris Durkin (only 6'4", 235 lbs). Actually, Stiney had nothing to do with it. GASP! Durkin's cousin is a coach at Florida, and he coached with Scot Loeffler. I guess the cuz put in a good word for Loeffler and the kid decided to go with us. I'm sure the fact that he would actually get playing time with us helped, too. Michigan State already has a long line of potential QBs to choose from... you know, like most respectable schools.
[Shhh... Kids, today's secret word is: respectable.]
[Shhh... Kids, today's secret word is: respectable.]
But apparently Durkin is injured and they have yet to say whether or not they are going to red-shirt him. They've announced that our starting QB will be Michael Brewer. Brewer has already graduated from Texas Tech with a respectable degree in Personal Financial Planning. He's almost 22 years old and he's pursuing a Masters here at Tech (the real Tech). He played in 13 games at Texas Tech, and well, he's a hobbit. Only 6'0" and 200 lbs. How in the world can a person that short be a QB outside of The Shire? Oh wait, Vick was only 6', too. So is Drew Brees, Joe Theismann, Sonny Jurgensen.... and on and on. I thought you had to be an athletic SPECIMEN to be a QB! All you need is height and weight and you should be good, right??? Stiney???
Yep... still bitter.
Yep... still bitter.
So we'll see how Brewer does before I come up with any snarky nicknames for him. It looks like r-Soph Brenden Motley out of Christiansburg was really the favorite out of Spring Camp, but he has a back problem. They've listed him as the respectable #3 guy.
You know what this all means, right? A 2-QB scheme, a la Tyrod and the bad Glennon, is in our future.
Gag. Gag. Gag. Just try to think good thoughts.
Gag. Gag. Gag. Just try to think good thoughts.
It appears that Beamer's contract has been extended through 1/1/2019. Let's all pray that he's retiring after this. Please, please... can we not follow in the footsteps of Penn State? Can't someone gracefully exit and know when their time is over?
Gag. Gag. Gag. Just try to think good thoughts.
Rinse and repeat.
Speaking of what happens to coaches that have been at their schools too long, enter Jimmye Laycock (an unfortunate name), stage right. This is his 35th year with William and Mary, THE COLLEGE OF. And exactly where has he taken their respectable football program?
So it goes.
Let's not even bother breaking down this game so far as player match-ups and such. We will save that for next week's annihilation. Did I spell that right? I better learn how to spell it. This Saturday is a dreamy practice game. The kind of game we should always have for our first game of the season. Now that Weaves is gone, we'll just have to see how his replacement does. The new guy is Whit Babcock. Umm... let me cut and paste this for you:
Babcock will make $470,000 a year, plus an annual retention bonus of $140,000. He also was paid a signing bonus of $325,000, and his contract includes performance bonuses for team successes.
Gag. Gag. Gag. Just try to think good thoughts.
Rinse and repeat.
Rinse and repeat.
I wonder what Weaves was making? Can you imagine this kind of respectable money in Blacksburg?
More importantly, I would like to officially state that I will no longer refer to William and Mary, THE COLLEGE OF by their mascot/team name. I find it racist and unjust and insensitive and politically incorrect. There is a perfectly respectable/mediocre hummus out there who doesn't want to be associated with this football bully-garbage!
I will refer to them strictly as the team from William and Mary, THE COLLEGE OF, and that's it, or "that Williamsburg team".
In closing, I just want to say that I have no freakin' idea what this season is going to be like. I have zero expectations, which is nice. I guess we can only improve in my book, because we couldn't get much worse. Let's just pretend we're in Colorado and go with the flow on this one. We'll ride the roller coaster for what it's worth and try not to expect too much. And, we will drink every time they mention HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED during the TV broadcasts. Deal?
Deal.
As a made-up wise man once said, "Stay thirsty my friends".
Love and respectable football chest bumps,
The B.S.C.
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