The National Park Service has gone back to work and magically I can save layout changes to the blog again. Suspicious, I know. And you doubted their involvement, didn't you?
With all the government employees back to work and traffic back to horrendous levels in northern VA, I sat back last week and thought, "I should check out the latest news on hokiesports.com." So, I pulled up the website, which tends to have some sort of annoying video to bypass, clicked on football, and saw THIS glaring at me... "ESPN Announces Date Change of 2014 VT/Ohio State Game". Oh really? My first inclination was to blame Weaves for this. We all know how much he likes to painfully embarrass us at the beginning of each season. Then I saw that, technically, we play William & Mary first at home on August 30th. This leads to two thoughts:
1. Does William & Mary even have a football stadium, or do they play on their multi-purpose field?
2. This isn't Weaves' style - game #2 and not #1? Therefore, only the Worldwide Loser in Sports is to blame.
It says that both schools supported the change. HAHAHA! I wonder how much cash was thrown around to gain that "support"? Didn't Beamer say he was going to stop putting games like this on the schedule? Don't get me wrong - I fully support playing teams like Alabama and Ohio State - AT THE MIDDLE OR END OF THE SEASON. We are in the ACC for crying out loud. It's not like we play anyone of their caliber at any other point in our season. Marshall and Western Carolina aren't quite breaking any records these days. Can't we just save these kinds of games for November? Give us a little time to work out the kinks and create a quarterback controversy or something. Losing at the beginning of the season is just egregious. Why are we being the Western Carolina for Ohio State?
The second piece of disturbing news this week came while eating at Dickey's BBQ in Winchester - the BCS has us ranked at #14. ONE - FOUR. The AP, modestly, has us at #16. What the fudge??? I realize that we are 6-1, but a BYE week should NOT qualify us as a top 15 team in THE NATION. This is completely ridiculous. This is precisely why your crappy coworkers make fun of you all the time. We scored ONE touchdown during the Pitt game - ONE. And now we're #14. The BCS is stupid. The AP is slightly less stupid. Ridiculous.
Notes from the CBoPA game:
Saturday night hotel stays are luxurious. Not having to get up at 5am, drop kids off somewhere, and then battle the trucks down 81 probably feels a lot like Doug Gansler driving down the beltway on the shoulder during rush hour. We might as well had a state police escort. It was awesome.
Hokies Respect. Hokies Respect is asinine. It may be the only thing separating us from the animals, but we all think it's stupid. I feel sorry every time they force some student or coach to stand there on the field and read the little snippet. Can we just stop this? Instead, we, the fans, should take it upon ourselves to police the idiocy in the stands. For example, when the two guys behind us in Section 9 are cussing enough to make the Navy proud, and there are two little kids - oh, maybe 3 years old - right in front of them.... then it is your duty to say something to the two guys (because apparently the parents didn't feel that they should stand up for themselves and instead opted to find ear plugs for the kids). I understand that we've all paid for our tickets and have the right to all sorts of mocking and such, but is it that difficult to keep it clean with little kids around? If you don't know enough words to express yourself without constant cussing, then I am ashamed that you are cheering for my team. That's all I'm going to say about that.
So here we are, all rested and relaxed, and ready for an incredibly late 3:30 kick-off. Lane stadium will look Wahoo-esque today, minus the ties and chinos, with Orange Effect and Blue Devil fans. Perhaps it will only be down that one little side of the student section, but darn it, doesn't someone think about these things before declaring some sort of "effect"?
The Goatees are 5-2 this year, losing to GA Tech and Pitt. I don't know if we will win this game in the air or even on the ground, but I think we'll win it. It may be another kicking showcase a la Cody Journell. Prep the cannonballs. We may need lots of 'em.
The Goatees are way more effective than us offense, which I'm sure is no surprise. They have more than 20% more passing yards than us on the season. And on the ground, it actually seems like they get positive yardage and score points. I know we aren't familiar with rushing TDs, but the Goatees have 15 this season. As always, the game will come down to our D. In Bud We Trust.
I'm sure it's beautiful down in the New River Valley today. A high of 55 and a little bit of sun, the leaves changing to Orange and Maroon... ahhh.... enjoy it if you're there. And, don't be surprised if there's a freak snowstorm.
Love 3:30 kick-offs,
The B.S.C.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
The Curse of Bud Foster
So sayeth the Voo Doo Witch Doctor from The Princess and the Frog - the nice one who eats buttons, not the mean one:
"For whomever shall watch the legendary coaching of one, Bud Foster, will come the CURSE OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR. 5 wins against unranked opponents will get ye mentions of "the best Defense in the nation". And then, to fulfill the curse, your ears will bleed of new heights and weights for quarterbacks, with the final horrible outcome of ... a national ranking."
TWENTY- FOUR (AP). TWENTY-FIVE (USA Today).
Run and hide for cover, my friends. The dreaded ranking is here. My better half called this last week as The Baby Blue Blankies thoroughly stunk up the television set. I guess Renner was hurt, so they were playing second-tier Williams...but come on! Are we SERIOUSLY the 24th best team in the NATION?
Clark is serious.
We barely beat the Blankies 17-27 even though the game was a snooze-fest. My notes consisted of a random Giraffe update, 6'5", 255, and the Florida State demolition of Maryland, 63-0. I mean, I can't stand FSU like the rest of us, but seeing MD get beat so badly is hilarious. Take your ugly unis and shove it, turtle! We can probably thank their utter incompetence at #25 for our ranking this week. FSU was 8th last week, and this week moved up to #6. Clemson is at 3 or 4, depending on who you ask. Oh... and yes, crickets for MD. They are no longer ranked.
We should have beat the Blankies by about 40 - but we didn't. But because of THE CURSE OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR, we end up ranked. Ranked is a dirty word. At the beginning of past seasons, any pre-season ranking would set expectations too high and then we would lose and the haters would say, "you were over-ranked", and they'd be right. Pre-season rankings bring their own curse - THE CURSE OF DEATH.
Mid-season rankings are just as frustrating. You WANT to feel like we earned it, but our never-ending finish around #20 year after year makes you feel like we just get it because our mascot is awesome, and so is Blacksburg. Or, some voters just felt bad for the ACC. One or the other. Mediocrity is egregious. Anything between #20 and #25 is mediocrity.
Blagh.
NEWS FLASH: Weaves has scheduled our opening season loss for 2015 on Labor Day against Ohio State at Lane. Chalk up another humiliating opening season loss to the Hokies for 2015. Thanks, Weaves. Oh, and don't worry - we're gonna practice losing to them away from Lane first - 9/20/2014 @ Ohio State. Wow. I'm so glad we've got those two on the books. Now we can all just sleep easier since there's no way we'll win-out an entire season for the next 2 years, regardless of who we have at QB. Again - thank you, Weaves, for simplifying things.
So tomorrow we look upon our game with the Couch Burners of P-A (CBoPA) with contempt and disdain. Did you realize we haven't beaten the CBoPA since 2000? That's fun, huh? Losing to any couch-burning team is miserable. Watching a game in the rain is miserable. Please, Lord, can we avoid both tomorrow?
As I re-type the last...oh... 30% of my blog post here... because the Park Service that controls Blogger decided to just crap out and shove it in my face at 10:15, it occurs to me that even a loss tomorrow will be SOMETHING. We've haven't had much in the way of opposition so far this year (excluding game 1), and well, the CBoPA consistently manage to beat us.... so if we can actually pull this one off, I may get truly excited for Enter Sandman for the first time this season. The Giraffe will never get a nickname. No. It's much too late for that. But, a little hope would be nice for the rest of the season.
You better appreciate this fine, fine couch picture. It is the reason I lost 1/3 of this post in the first place. It technically made Blogger freeze up on me TWICE. STARE AT IT. LOVE IT. Feel sorry for it.
The CBoPA are nothing fancy this year. They are 3-1 with a loss to FSU, but their stats leave little to be desired. If Bud can bring it, we can dominate. If not, this scrappy team will beat us. Salty D against scrappy O = one interesting game.
Well, I have no idea how brilliant or hilarious the rest of my post was, so just assume it was the best ever. It's dark and almost 10:30 so I need to get this bad boy out into the world for a noon kick-off. We're now at Staunton and it looks like it hasn't rained here at all. Thank you, Al Gore, for nice football weather in October.
Note: where, oh where is the season schedule? The. Park. Service. Hates. Me.
Say hi to me if you'll be there tomorrow. I'll be the one in the maroon hoodie. As one great blog used to say, "I believe."
Love October in the New River Valley,
The B.S.C.
As I re-type the last...oh... 30% of my blog post here... because the Park Service that controls Blogger decided to just crap out and shove it in my face at 10:15, it occurs to me that even a loss tomorrow will be SOMETHING. We've haven't had much in the way of opposition so far this year (excluding game 1), and well, the CBoPA consistently manage to beat us.... so if we can actually pull this one off, I may get truly excited for Enter Sandman for the first time this season. The Giraffe will never get a nickname. No. It's much too late for that. But, a little hope would be nice for the rest of the season.
You better appreciate this fine, fine couch picture. It is the reason I lost 1/3 of this post in the first place. It technically made Blogger freeze up on me TWICE. STARE AT IT. LOVE IT. Feel sorry for it.
The CBoPA are nothing fancy this year. They are 3-1 with a loss to FSU, but their stats leave little to be desired. If Bud can bring it, we can dominate. If not, this scrappy team will beat us. Salty D against scrappy O = one interesting game.
Well, I have no idea how brilliant or hilarious the rest of my post was, so just assume it was the best ever. It's dark and almost 10:30 so I need to get this bad boy out into the world for a noon kick-off. We're now at Staunton and it looks like it hasn't rained here at all. Thank you, Al Gore, for nice football weather in October.
Note: where, oh where is the season schedule? The. Park. Service. Hates. Me.
Say hi to me if you'll be there tomorrow. I'll be the one in the maroon hoodie. As one great blog used to say, "I believe."
Love October in the New River Valley,
The B.S.C.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Blast You, Park Service!
This is a free blog. I don't pay anything for it, you don't pay anything for it... but I do kinda expect it to work. At this time, I cannot update the schedule below. This is my hypothesis: Blogger is somehow linked to our National Park Service. Thus, they have shut down certain parts of the system and put armed Park Rangers on guard to make sure that people can't just willy nilly use something that usually requires no supervision. Page layouts are apparently on the list of "normal things that must be made difficult". So, thank you Park Service. Along with the WWII memorial, Yosemite, and private businesses lining the Blue Ridge Parkway, I now am feeling the pain of the shutdown. So it goes.
Here's my all-important updates:
GT, W, 17-10
UNC, 12:30pm, ACC Network
Pitt, Noon
None of us are surprised by that 1:30 or noon kick-off. Will we actually get any kick-offs past 2pm this season, apart from Thursday nights? Perhaps not. I'm not even sure the ACC Network is going to be on in this area. If you click here it should tell you what local station will be covering the game. I'm in good ol' NOVA, like many of you, and it says Fox 5. We'll see.
So, I'm not sure I have quite recovered from last week. How can you keep a straight face in the booth when saying names like Snoddy (which sounded a whole heck of a lot like Snotty) and Smelter? I will say that other than the normal asinine things all ESPN announcers say, this group did OK. I will give them a 5 out of 10. At least there was no "Tech" confusion... or VAH Tech, which makes me want to rip my ears off.
In true Worldwide Loser of Sports fashion, we started the game with 6 points. Before kick-off. They fixed it pre-kick-off, but still...how hard is it to keep track before the game has even started? Then, when Big Fuller knocked the ball out during the Bumbly Bees first possession, we recovered the fumble. In 2 plays - TD, DJ Coles.... and back came the 6 points. To which my spouse, pointed out:
Football's fixed.
Who can argue with that?
The Bumbly Bees are so sophisticated, says ESPN, that they have to create new names for their positions. Gag. At least this year they stuck with calling it "the option", which I suppose is the least-offensive of all the names for their completely ineffective style of Offense. At least, it's completely ineffective against Bud. Who is awesome.
True Freshman, Facyson, whose name is incredibly hard to spell, got his 4th INT of the year. He officially needs a nickname. Ideas are welcome.
The Giraffe is "much maligned", according to Jesse Palmer, David Pollack, and Rece Davis. But, after a few completed passes, Jesse said The Giraffe was "spinning the magic bean." I'm not sure if he wants to be the next Steve Spurrier, creator of all football catch phrases, or if he has been fake 'n baking too much. Of course, Pollack said, "he's the straw stirring the drink". What the heck does that mean? Maybe they were all on drugs.
The Giraffe looked like an actual QB. Yes, I said it. Despite the prior input and horrendous coaching of our Recruiting Coordinator and Tight Ends Coach up in the booth (STINEY), somehow something has started to click for him this season. Don't hold your breath that it will last... but let's say some prayers.
In his defense, he seems to have height and weight issues throughout every game now. For the Bumbly Bees, he was reported in at:
6'6", 250
6'5", 250
6'6", 254
6'6", 240
Our officially titled "salty" D was the key to this game. Hopkins had a stellar game - so much so that Jesse called us the best D in the country. I'll take that. Bud will take that. There was no "option" in the option. We were beast. Even Baby Fuller had an INT.
Could you hear the "Let's Go Hokies" during the Bumbly Bees' last time out with 1:33 to go? Enter Sandman would have fit in nicely.
So with such success last week, what happens for Homecoming vs. The Baby Blue Blankies? And, for the record, why would Weaves pick UNC as our Homecoming opponent? We just had our first ACC game last week, and now we jump into number 2 against a team that can always beat us? This year we may luck out. The Blankies are 2-2, coming off an awful loss against The Johnny Depps. It doesn't seem to be a lack of QB effort. Bryn Renner has over 1000 yards this season with an almost 60% completion percentage. On the ground, though... it doesn't look pretty. Only 401 yards over 4 games. Our running game has been practically nonexistent some weeks, and we still have almost 700.
Bud is going to have a field day with this one. So will the Big and Baby Fullers.
Maybe Weaves knew this one would be fun for Bud. Or maybe he's an idiot. I will of course pick the latter. We may have just lucked out this year. I'm feeling pretty good about this one.
I've rambled long enough. The Park Service is going to shut me down. Enjoy Homecoming and our late, late 1:30 kick-off.
I'll say it this week:
Go Hokies!
Love anything salty,
The B.S.C.
Here's my all-important updates:
GT, W, 17-10
UNC, 12:30pm, ACC Network
Pitt, Noon
None of us are surprised by that 1:30 or noon kick-off. Will we actually get any kick-offs past 2pm this season, apart from Thursday nights? Perhaps not. I'm not even sure the ACC Network is going to be on in this area. If you click here it should tell you what local station will be covering the game. I'm in good ol' NOVA, like many of you, and it says Fox 5. We'll see.
So, I'm not sure I have quite recovered from last week. How can you keep a straight face in the booth when saying names like Snoddy (which sounded a whole heck of a lot like Snotty) and Smelter? I will say that other than the normal asinine things all ESPN announcers say, this group did OK. I will give them a 5 out of 10. At least there was no "Tech" confusion... or VAH Tech, which makes me want to rip my ears off.
In true Worldwide Loser of Sports fashion, we started the game with 6 points. Before kick-off. They fixed it pre-kick-off, but still...how hard is it to keep track before the game has even started? Then, when Big Fuller knocked the ball out during the Bumbly Bees first possession, we recovered the fumble. In 2 plays - TD, DJ Coles.... and back came the 6 points. To which my spouse, pointed out:
Football's fixed.
Who can argue with that?
The Bumbly Bees are so sophisticated, says ESPN, that they have to create new names for their positions. Gag. At least this year they stuck with calling it "the option", which I suppose is the least-offensive of all the names for their completely ineffective style of Offense. At least, it's completely ineffective against Bud. Who is awesome.
True Freshman, Facyson, whose name is incredibly hard to spell, got his 4th INT of the year. He officially needs a nickname. Ideas are welcome.
The Giraffe is "much maligned", according to Jesse Palmer, David Pollack, and Rece Davis. But, after a few completed passes, Jesse said The Giraffe was "spinning the magic bean." I'm not sure if he wants to be the next Steve Spurrier, creator of all football catch phrases, or if he has been fake 'n baking too much. Of course, Pollack said, "he's the straw stirring the drink". What the heck does that mean? Maybe they were all on drugs.
The Giraffe looked like an actual QB. Yes, I said it. Despite the prior input and horrendous coaching of our Recruiting Coordinator and Tight Ends Coach up in the booth (STINEY), somehow something has started to click for him this season. Don't hold your breath that it will last... but let's say some prayers.
In his defense, he seems to have height and weight issues throughout every game now. For the Bumbly Bees, he was reported in at:
6'6", 250
6'5", 250
6'6", 254
6'6", 240
Our officially titled "salty" D was the key to this game. Hopkins had a stellar game - so much so that Jesse called us the best D in the country. I'll take that. Bud will take that. There was no "option" in the option. We were beast. Even Baby Fuller had an INT.
Could you hear the "Let's Go Hokies" during the Bumbly Bees' last time out with 1:33 to go? Enter Sandman would have fit in nicely.
So with such success last week, what happens for Homecoming vs. The Baby Blue Blankies? And, for the record, why would Weaves pick UNC as our Homecoming opponent? We just had our first ACC game last week, and now we jump into number 2 against a team that can always beat us? This year we may luck out. The Blankies are 2-2, coming off an awful loss against The Johnny Depps. It doesn't seem to be a lack of QB effort. Bryn Renner has over 1000 yards this season with an almost 60% completion percentage. On the ground, though... it doesn't look pretty. Only 401 yards over 4 games. Our running game has been practically nonexistent some weeks, and we still have almost 700.
Bud is going to have a field day with this one. So will the Big and Baby Fullers.
Maybe Weaves knew this one would be fun for Bud. Or maybe he's an idiot. I will of course pick the latter. We may have just lucked out this year. I'm feeling pretty good about this one.
I've rambled long enough. The Park Service is going to shut me down. Enjoy Homecoming and our late, late 1:30 kick-off.
I'll say it this week:
Go Hokies!
Love anything salty,
The B.S.C.
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