Thank You, Direct TV

Losing to the Baby Blue Lambs (BBLs) would pretty much signal the end of our season.  A lot of you, like Reader Jennifer, may see this as the most important game of the season.  Being so close to North Carolina in Blacksburg means that there’s a good chance that you either know someone, or have a family member, who is a big BBL fan. 

If this is the case.  I’m sorry.  So, so sorry.  If we can’t beat a basketball school, you won’t hear the end of it for possibly an entire year.  Your friend/spouse/other family member will remind you of things you’ve said to him/her FOREVER… things like:

“I went to a FOOTBALL school.”

“What?  UNC has a football team?”

“Wow… that color is so…masculine.”

Last time we played the BBLs we were ranked #8 in the nation.  Wow.  I can’t even remember those days.  If you read the last pre-game BBL post, I sounded all peppy and optimistic.  I was all “Thursday night football!  Woooo!” and “The Giraffe is getting so confident!  Woooooo!” and “Look at all my pre-game research!  Wooooo!”

This is a much different season.  I am most definitely a different B.S.C. 

I don’t know what to really tell you about this one, folks.  I’m on my way to Virginia Beach, one of our finest recruiting grounds, right now to meet a bunch of Realtors tomorrow.  Yes, work on a Saturday.  Not quite like Thursday night football, is it?  So, I will not be watching tomorrow.  I may even have to pass on a Monday-ish game update.  Why can’t I DVR it, you say? 

Dear Direct TV,

We used to watch shows, you know, like football games, and our DVR would freeze during key moments.  The picture would freeze, the sound would freeze, and we’d just have to wait patiently for 2-5 minutes for it to come back.  That was pretty annoying I’d say.  So, we finally decided that we’d had enough of it, and called you out to Casa de B.S.C. on Tuesday.  Your fine technician, though very professional and nice enough to sport booties, could not locate the issue and simply replaced the DVR and readjusted the satellite (which, oh by the way, you connected to my siding about 3 feet off the ground – genius!).  Mr. Technician left while the new DVR was updating, and said all would be fine.  Oh no… all was not fine.  Tuesday night Mr. and Mrs. B.S.C. sit down to enjoy some quality television, and now something even more exciting happens!  The picture freezes, but the sound continues (somewhat like listening to the radio, I suppose).  Though you may perceive this as an improvement, Direct TV, this goes on for ohhhh…. 15-30 minutes.  It actually goes on so long that the next morning I turned on the TV, and THE SAME PICTURE from Nadia G’s Bitchin’ Kitchen is still on the TV.  RIDICULOUS!  Meanwhile, we get technician #2 to come out Wednesday.  He thinks he is brilliant and messes with some cables, and declares that the problem has been solved.  Again, like Technician #1, he leaves before the TV is actually running again.  He says, “just call if you have a problem”.  Frozen.  TV.  Again.  WORSE.  THAN.  BEFORE.  And, funny enough, Mr. Technician #2 doesn’t call back (though he drove back, parked in front of our house for about 10 minutes, and then left again without calling or coming in.  Yes, I’m not making this up.)  So, angrily the situation gets escalated, because the “scheduler” says that Technician #2 has no time to see us Thursday morning.  Excellent customer service.  Did I mention that we have 3 children with no functioning television?  So, the “supervisor” proclaims Thursday that our case is now special, and we have been assigned a case manager.  You know what that gets us?  Technician #3 on SUNDAY afternoon. 

You know, Direct TV, this is quite the “special” experience.  When my flippin’ contract is up, I’ll remember all this fun.  We were forced to get a kitten off of Craigslist due to the boredom of no TV.  I will send you my bills for de-worming, shots, and neutering shortly.  New kitty’s name is Shawn, by the way.  

Your best customer,

The B.S.C.

So, feel free to direct your no-new-post Monday hatred towards Direct TV.  Not Realtors. 

I would say I’m sorry for this nonsense post, but we all know that there’s not much to say here.  We SHOULD beat the BBLs.  But, we SHOULD have beaten Pitt and Cincinnati.  We have to get back to very basic Virginia Tech football concepts in order to win: play defense, pretend to play offense, and have a QB who acts like he wants to be there.

This seems to be a tall order for us this year, my friends. 

Enjoy the early kick-off thanks to Weaves.  He doesn’t even want us to drink away our sorrows - that’s how evil he is. 

Love me some Realtors,

The B.S.C.