I don't take a look at game stats very often, because I think it bores everyone to death. If you want to know stats, you will look up stats. But I did take a peek at last week's:
- We had 7 punts for 292 yards
- The Hobbit had -15 yards rushing, making our TOTAL net rushing yards for the game... wait for it... 26
- The Hobbit had 265 passing yards (note punting yards above)
- We had THREE fumbles, LUCKILY, we only lost 1
On sPITTle's first series, we recovered a fumble and then promptly went 3 and out. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the game. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. 3 and out. It's amazing our punter can recover every week from all the action. We had no 1st downs in the entire 1st quarter. Even Hoser Boy was confused at The Brain's play-calling. A short route on 3rd and long?
It's only genius if it works.
After seeing another one of The Hobbit's passes batted down, it occurred to me that he should wear boots like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Dog is 5'7", but wears boots with lifts, giving him another 3" or so. Don't ask me why I know so much about Dog. And don't judge me!
He still wouldn't be the same height as He Who Shall Not Be Named (HWSNBN), but I think it'd help. It was pretty slick, though, when The Hobbit had a pass batted in the air and then he caught it himself. I guess you learn to do that when it happens to you. All. The. Time.
Random notes:
1. Bucky's Hodges' tattoo definitely says "GOD'S" on one arm, and "GIFT" on the other. Nickname, check.
2. Dadi Nicolas is such awesome-sauce. He blocked a FG. WHAT???? Beamerball????
3. This dude, Andrew Motuapuaka, looks likes he's a Samoan from Hawaii (yet another Dog the Bounty Hunter reference)... yet he's from New Zealand/VA Beach. Huh?
4. AGAIN more injuries throughout the game. Augie Conte left the game in the 4th and Chase Williams left in the 3rd.
5. Scoring our first TD with 4:52 left in the 4th quarter is awkward. Do you cry? Do you cheer?
Dear Worldwide Loser in Sports (WWLS),
It's the B.S.C. checking in again. As Dog and Beth would say, "How'z it?".
Hiring a Hoser to provide commentary on an American sport is pretty ridiculous. Haven't we covered this before? He says stupid things. He mentioned HWSNBN. Not only did he mention "him", but he claimed that we had no play-makers over the past 2 years for "him". Really???? That was our problem?
Your Hoser made me almost vomit. In. My. Mouth.
Then, in the spirit of being unbiased, he said that The Hobbit "doesn't have the strongest arm in the world." Acca-scuse me?
Just because HWSNBN rifled off every pass at the same velocity, regardless of where it was going, doesn't mean "he" was a better QB. I think The Hobbit's arm is just fine, thanks. And I'll take him over HWSNBN any day.
AND, if the sPITTle QB is so fantastic, which you all kept saying over and over, why did he have to rush more than their RB? Perhaps HE doesn't have the strongest arm in the world.
Oh, and one more thing. Try to keep up with the game. When Bucky Hodges made that great catch in the 3rd, you showed "Call Reversed" on the screen, when the call stood. Is it that hard to put up a pre-made graphic real-time?
Not impressed,
The B.S.C.
P.S. It's pronounced "muh-TOO-uh-poo-WAH-kuh". You get paid to memorize that stuff, right?
Moving on to tonight...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
OK, I think I got that out of my system. I can't pretend that I don't want to beat The U. I have this in my closet (which would be on my body if I lost a little weight. Again, don judge me!):
So, yeah... I hate The U. Why? I've said it before: I hate any team who has a huge fan base of people who have never been to the school. This applies to many, many teams... Notre Dame, UNC, Duke, WVU, Ohio State, and on and on. I just happen to hate Miami in general because, well, they're special. Our games against Miami are always crazy. Remember this? I was there... and I certainly do.
That still makes my heart flutter. Like a little girl.
Dear Fan,
Prescription for tonight: Watch video. Rinse. Repeat.
Do hourly before kick-off.
Love,
The B.S.C.
We are both 4-3 coming into tonight. Seems like the good ole U is having a crap-tastic season, Hokie-style, with losses to Louisville, Nebraska, and Georgia Tech. This puppy seems to be a toss-up. They have a much more effective Offense than we do, especially with our current running situation. BUT, they do have 9 INTs this season, which means they do have some weaknesses that Bud can exploit. We need Fuller to have a BIG game. HUGE!
We also need to establish some sort of running game if we have any hopes of creating an effective Offense for the rest of the season. The Brain needs to figure out some sort of running back mix that can actually move the ball for 100 yards per game. With Williams back in the line-up tonight, maybe we can do that.
Let's just sit back, consume a little (or a lot of) alcohol, and hope that we step up and beat this team, for Mediocrity-Bragging-Rights-sake.
More TDs than INTs. More TDs than INTs. Go sit in your closet and hum that for a while (in between video viewing).
Give 'em Hell, Bud!
Love when The Baby Blue Blankies make an uh-oh,
The B.S.C.
P.S. Did anyone see us on GMA this morning? Now that's an engineering school!
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