Making My Heart Flutter Like a Little Girl

Well, it was pretty simple.  More TDs than INTs, remember that?  Since I am often wrong, I will go ahead and take credit for calling this one.  My second grader can tell you that 1 > 1 isn't correct.  We are going to continue to lose games if we can't score more TDs.  It's as simple as that.  And Lord help us, we have The U coming up tonight.

I don't take a look at game stats very often, because I think it bores everyone to death.  If you want to know stats, you will look up stats.  But I did take a peek at last week's:

- We had 7 punts for 292 yards
- The Hobbit had -15 yards rushing, making our TOTAL net rushing yards for the game... wait for it... 26
- The Hobbit had 265 passing yards (note punting yards above)
- We had THREE fumbles, LUCKILY, we only lost 1

On sPITTle's first series, we recovered a fumble and then promptly went 3 and out.  That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the game.  3 and out.  3 and out.  3 and out.  3 and out.  It's amazing our punter can recover every week from all the action.  We had no 1st downs in the entire 1st quarter.  Even Hoser Boy was confused at The Brain's play-calling.  A short route on 3rd and long?

It's only genius if it works.

After seeing another one of The Hobbit's passes batted down, it occurred to me that he should wear boots like Dog the Bounty Hunter.  Dog is 5'7", but wears boots with lifts, giving him another 3" or so.  Don't ask me why I know so much about Dog.  And don't judge me!

He still wouldn't be the same height as He Who Shall Not Be Named (HWSNBN), but I think it'd help.  It was pretty slick, though, when The Hobbit had a pass batted in the air and then he caught it himself.  I guess you learn to do that when it happens to you.  All.  The.  Time.

Random notes:
1. Bucky's Hodges' tattoo definitely says "GOD'S" on one arm, and "GIFT" on the other.  Nickname, check.
2. Dadi Nicolas is such awesome-sauce.  He blocked a FG.  WHAT???? Beamerball????
3. This dude, Andrew Motuapuaka, looks likes he's a Samoan from Hawaii (yet another Dog the Bounty Hunter reference)... yet he's from New Zealand/VA Beach.  Huh?
4. AGAIN more injuries throughout the game.  Augie Conte left the game in the 4th and Chase Williams left in the 3rd.
5. Scoring our first TD with 4:52 left in the 4th quarter is awkward.  Do you cry?  Do you cheer?

Dear Worldwide Loser in Sports (WWLS),

It's the B.S.C. checking in again.  As Dog and Beth would say, "How'z it?".

Hiring a Hoser to provide commentary on an American sport is pretty ridiculous.  Haven't we covered this before?  He says stupid things.  He mentioned HWSNBN.  Not only did he mention "him", but he claimed that we had no play-makers over the past 2 years for "him".  Really????  That was our problem?

Your Hoser made me almost vomit.  In.  My.  Mouth.

Then, in the spirit of being unbiased, he said that The Hobbit "doesn't have the strongest arm in the world."  Acca-scuse me?

Just because HWSNBN rifled off every pass at the same velocity, regardless of where it was going, doesn't mean "he" was a better QB.  I think The Hobbit's arm is just fine, thanks.  And I'll take him over HWSNBN any day.

AND, if the sPITTle QB is so fantastic, which you all kept saying over and over, why did he have to rush more than their RB?  Perhaps HE doesn't have the strongest arm in the world.

Oh, and one more thing.  Try to keep up with the game.  When Bucky Hodges made that great catch in the 3rd, you showed "Call Reversed" on the screen, when the call stood.  Is it that hard to put up a pre-made graphic real-time?

Not impressed,
The B.S.C.

P.S. It's pronounced "muh-TOO-uh-poo-WAH-kuh".  You get paid to memorize that stuff, right?

Moving on to tonight...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

OK, I think I got that out of my system.  I can't pretend that I don't want to beat The U.  I have this in my closet (which would be on my body if I lost a little weight.  Again, don judge me!):

I also have this license plate:

So, yeah... I hate The U.  Why?  I've said it before: I hate any team who has a huge fan base of people who have never been to the school.  This applies to many, many teams... Notre Dame, UNC, Duke, WVU, Ohio State, and on and on.  I just happen to hate Miami in general because, well, they're special.  Our games against Miami are always crazy.  Remember this?  I was there... and I certainly do.

That still makes my heart flutter.  Like a little girl.

Dear Fan,

Prescription for tonight:  Watch video.  Rinse.  Repeat.

Do hourly before kick-off.

Love,
The B.S.C.

We are both 4-3 coming into tonight.  Seems like the good ole U is having a crap-tastic season, Hokie-style, with losses to Louisville, Nebraska, and Georgia Tech.  This puppy seems to be a toss-up.  They have a much more effective Offense than we do, especially with our current running situation.  BUT, they do have 9 INTs this season, which means they do have some weaknesses that Bud can exploit.  We need Fuller to have a BIG game.  HUGE!

We also need to establish some sort of running game if we have any hopes of creating an effective Offense for the rest of the season.  The Brain needs to figure out some sort of running back mix that can actually move the ball for 100 yards per game.  With Williams back in the line-up tonight, maybe we can do that.

Let's just sit back, consume a little (or a lot of) alcohol, and hope that we step up and beat this team, for Mediocrity-Bragging-Rights-sake.

More TDs than INTs.  More TDs than INTs.  Go sit in your closet and hum that for a while (in between video viewing).

Give 'em Hell, Bud!

Love when The Baby Blue Blankies make an uh-oh,
The B.S.C.

P.S. Did anyone see us on GMA this morning?  Now that's an engineering school!

Fire Frank Beamer, AKA, How LUCKY Are We

Is it just me, or do the Baby Blue Blankie camo helmets look like fluffy clouds against pretty blue skies?  That's super-hard core helmet decor, man.  Super.  Hard.  Core.

Wow, was that a lame game, or what?  Lame helmets.  Lame stats.  Even my notes were lame.  Speaking of lame:

- Maddy is out 2-4 weeks with a torn meniscus
- Facyson is out the rest of the season with a leg injury
- Spuds has a torn ACL, out for the rest of the season
- Edmunds is out 6-8 weeks with a broken clavicle
- Williams sprained his ankle playing the Fluffy Clouds and will not play tonight

What's up with all the injuries?  I, of course, assume what I've always assumed (since hearing from a former player that Beamer babies the players during practices and treats them like they don't NEED to practice):

THEY ARE GETTING HURT BECAUSE THEY AREN'T PROPERLY PREPARING FOR GAMES!

If the above isn't true, then I suppose that we've just got really horrible luck.  Horrible, horrible "luck".  And if THAT is true, then I guess Stiney had horrible "luck", and Bud just has good "luck" with his Defense, etc., etc., etc...

You get the idea.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to let you know that I just googled "fire Frank Beamer", and to my dismay, there is no site with this name.  Instead, it goes straight to http://www.beamerball.com/free/index.htm, which is sorta disturbing.  Did he really have to purchase that website name in order to stop websites like those that asked for the dismissal of Stiney? I call for an all out B.S.C. REVOLT!  Who is ready to start a fire Beamer blog???  You?

Someone will do it.  I have faith.

"Luckily", during the lame game they showed this beautiful stat that the Hobbit had 9 TDs and 10 INTs.  To make sure that we didn't lose this badge of honor, the Hobbit now has 10 TDs and 11 INTs going into tonight's game.  Super.  Awesome-sauce.

For the record, he had 0 INTs at Texas Tech.  Lucky us.

In unrelated news, I am searching for a picture of Bucky Hodges' tattoos.  Stay tuned.

I am pretty excited tonight, just for the mere fact that The Worldwide Loser in Sports has to endure this Thursday night prime time game with two unranked - admittedly crappy - ACC teams.  HILARIOUS!  Take that and shove it in your pie hole, Lou Holtz.

I know, I know, Thursday night games should pump me up.  It's just hard, you know, getting super excited this season.  I am excited that I can have a drink tonight, because, everyone knows that Thursday night is the official start to the weekend.  I am also excited to see a lot of Samwise tonight, because, well, we have no other choices.  I am also excited that sPITTle isn't too hot this year, so we've got a good shot to win another match of Mediocrity Bragging Rights tonight.  I'm sure there's a home somewhere in the world where this game makes a difference.  Somewhere.  Out.  There.

I could play that on the ol' keyboard back in the day.  It was the keyboard jam in our house in the '80s.  More awesome-sauce.

sPITTle is on a 3-game losing streak.  I really do hope we can make it 4.  They lost to UVA, fer cryin' in the mud!  They did beat Boston College earlier in the season... so that's a tad scary.

If the hobbits show up to play, and our TDs are greater than our INTs, then we have a good chance of winning this one, with some LUCK.  Anything can happen this year, though, so I'm just going to depend on vodka, my old dependable friend, to see me through.

Love to get some good game notes this week,
The B.S.C.

Mouse Exhaustion: A Real Disease

What did I say about That High School Team?  We needed to score 39 points to win.  Thanks to Bud, we cut that down to just 28, but we STILL couldn't do it.

I listened to this one thanks to Al Gore and I'm sure all he did to establish satellite radio.  We literally had our Sirius turned on with 6 minutes to spare before the game started, all while driving down to the House of Mouse on 95.

My first question of the day was: Why would Thad Lee transfer from That High School Team to JMU?

My second: Why is Williams starting, AGAIN?

Insert a lunch stop here.  Friendly Kenly.  It's exit 106 in NC.  Believe me, you won't miss it.  It's the truck stop with a lighthouse in the front, decorative of course.  That place was awesome... a Wendy's, a Subway, a Caribou Coffee... all with clean tables in sort of a food-court setting. PLUS, all the awesomeness of a truck stop that carries random clothing and Harley stuff, and even truck supplies.  It's our new favorite stop on 95.  Mark it down!

At the half, the score was 16-10.  That High School Team was running allllllllll over us.  Then Kalvin Cline reappeared, there were fumbles, blocked kicks, interceptions returned for TDs, and on and on and on.  Not that it had anything to do with Klein.  It was nice to see him again.

When Thomas, the new HS QB, can't throw - is it still considered an option?

Ponder that one for a while...

Maybe he is distantly related to He Who Shall Not Be Named.

Well, I was almost right about accepting the one INT per quarter... we had 3.  The only good thing that came out of this game is some nickname solidification:

Willie Byrn: The Paper Boy
Loeffler: The Brain
Brewer: The Hobbit
Sam Rogers: Samwise
and new to the mix...
McKenzie: Spuds

Then we move on to last weekend's game against Some Team from Michigan.  And thankfully, Sirius didn't carry it.  Surprise!  I mean, I wouldn't carry it either if I were them.  So no notes, nothing.  And I was so glad.

The House of Mouse, with four children and my parents, was completely and utterly exhausting.  I think that this illness is so prevalent in Disney-goers that we should officially name it, you guessed it, MOUSE EXHAUSTION (ME).  You've gotta rush to a ride here and then a ride there, and then rush to see this parade or this character or find this doll.  Oh wait, stand up in line here for an hour.  Walk across this park here in 100% humidity.  Lunch requires stalking prey like leopards.  You have to split up and look for signs of weakness in order to find enough seating for your large group to feed.  And it rains... either torrential down-pours or just little 15-minute thunder storms.  Just enough to soak you and make someone, or everyone, miserable.

It's all part of ME.  The only way to combat ME?  Alcohol and laziness.  Lots and lots of laziness.

We are almost back to normal in The B.S.C. house thanks to the prescription above.  I'm back to snotty, which I now blame solely on either my house or northern VA.  The kids are alive.  My parents are alive.  All is good.

Enter the Baby Blue Blankies in a couple hours.  I'm not going to do a game run-down.  I just don't have the energy or mental capacity.  Blame ME.

Did I mention we babysat 3 additional children last night?

We should be scared of the Blankies.  Mediocrity Bragging Rights in a house in Lincolnton, North Carolina are resting on this one game of the season.  If we can somehow manage to organize the hobbits, we may be able to get back on track.  This is going to be a tough one, though...

Peace out until next week.  Let's see if some football can actually inspire a post!

Love the squatchy-ness of 95,
The B.S.C.