Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... and the Sugar Bowl

One thing is clear from watching the game on Saturday: Herbie hates us.  In fact, I think he hates college football.  Maybe he thinks he's too good for college football.  He likes to say things like, "That's a typical play in college football."  Herbie, if it makes you feel any better, I think you should move on to announce for pro games, too.  I just don't want to hear you announce at any Virginia Tech game again.  It's like having Aikman in the booth for a Redskins game.  Maybe you could get a job with the Colts, Herbie.  They may be hiring.

Not that the worldwide crapper in sports did any better with Musburger.  AN-TWANNE Exum?  If you look at page 4 in the game notes, the pronunciation guide clearly states "AN-tone".  I know, it's a whole 38 pages of reading in order to prepare for a game.  That must be tough, Musburger.  But, you know what?  It's kind of your job.  If you can't read 38 pages, I still expect you to flip to the pronunciation guide to make it at least sound like you read it.

THE SEVEN THINGS I LEARNED ON SATURDAY NIGHT:
1. I totally missed the whole two-tiger thing the first time we played the Tony the Tigers.  They have "Tiger" and "Cub".  I believe one had a "1/2" on his jersey, and the other had a "0".  Shouldn't one have a "1" if the other is going to have "1/2"?  Half of zero is zero.  I mean, I wasn't a math major, but even I can figure that one out.  I thought Clemson was one of the "smarter" schools. 
2. Apparently, in the world of expert ACC officiating, it is fine to throw Danny Coale to the ground after he is out of bounds if you put your hands up afterward, acting like you did nothing.  Shouldn't the fact that the kid puts his hands up be the first clue that he MIGHT have done something he thinks he shouldn't have?  Nope.  Apparently not.  Lesson learned.
3. Andre Branch (traitor from VA) looks an awful lot like Evander Holyfield.  Scary.

4. If Sammy Watkins is the best player on the field, why didn't he get the ACC Offensive Player of the Year?  Hmm?  (That one is directed at that fine ESPN crew.)  Oh, wait!  The guy who got that award IS on the field.  His name is David Wilson.

5. There were a lot of Keystone Light and Lexus commercials.  Exactly who do you think is in your demographic, ESPN?  Or, are you simply trying to make sure you offer something for everyone?  If so, I hope the Tech fans lean more towards the Lexus demographic...because I don't think I ever saw anyone drink Keystone Light in Blacksburg.  I'm guessing that was for the Tony the Tiger fans.

6. "Trickeration", no matter how many times it is said or who says it, is STILL NOT A WORD.

7. The ACC Championship is pretty much a bowl game for us, and thus, we perform like we are in a bowl game.  It's either really good... or simply horrendous.  Unfortunately, we took the latter route in the second half of the game. 

I'm glad we aren't going to the Orange Bowl.  I am not going to miss meeting the Hillbillies in a bowl game.  We need to play them every year, but not in a bowl game.  We fizzle too much in bowl games, and a loss to WVU would be unbearable.  We still had an awesome season.  There's just one team that has our number, that's it.  The Giraffe, minus the fumble on our first offensive play of the game, did well.  The Tony the Tigers just managed to stop Wilson, and that killed us.  And, well, Tajh Boyd decided to show up.  With our D all banged up and Hosley leaving the game early, we were toast.

It was a sad game.  I know how you feel.  But, wasn't Danny Coale's punting pretty incredible??  I mean, he did have one really bad one, but the one in the 2nd quarter that was 59 yards and trapped the Tigers at the 2 was pretty awesome.  Punter, Punt-returner, Wide Receiver... oh, how we'll miss you next year Danny Coale!!

We can't sulk too long.  Chalk this one up to, well, the ups and downs of being a Hokie fan.  We can't win every ACC Championship, no matter how much we deserve it.  So, take whatever time you need to sulk and get over this one.  Eat cookies.  Drink egg-nog.  Watch "A Christmas Story".  Just don't shoot your eye out.

Before we start to think about how fantastic The Giraffe is going to be next year, we have one more thing to do.  THE SUGAR BOWL.  Can you flippin' believe it??  I didn't even watch the bowl crap.  I figured we were off to yet another Cincinnati, oops, I mean Chik-fil-a, bowl.  But somehow, the football gods decided that the Hokies were deserving of the ACC's first EVER at-large BCS bowl bid.  That also means that the ACC will be sending two teams to BCS bowl games for the first time EVER.  Why did we get that bowl bid?  Because of you and because of me.  Virginia Tech travels well, as they say.  We support our team and we support them well.  We'll fill up the stadium and we'll watch the game on tv.  Don't think that we didn't have something to do with this bid.  Our football team needs this game for confidence.  The Giraffe really needs this game after losing twice to the Tony the Tigers.  But we're a big reason for the bowl upgrade, which means, you better start looking for tickets if you can. 

We'll be facing Michigan and all the Denard Robinson we can handle down in Nawlins.  Thinking of running for a dark corner?  Don't go there just yet.  Let's see who we can get back on D before this game, and you know Bud will dial up something spectacular for us.  Just invest in some beads and try to forget our last trip there... and I will try to stop having the nightmares of the 26-hour Amtrak ride from DC to Nawlins with the fans from Lynchburg who said "Slllliiiiiiiiiiddddddeeeellllllllllllll" every 15 minutes because they were listening to some radio station from there.  Ick.  Still makes me shudder. 

Take a breather and sulk.  Go through your five stages of grief and I'll see you on the other side when we're all ready for a bowl-game warm-up.

Love at-large bids that can give me short-term memory loss,

The B.S.C.

Payback's a B-- Bad Word

I'm over our ranking.  A week of sulking and eating chocolate chip cookies has perked me up and now I'm ready for happiness and sunshine again.  What can be better than the ACC Championship game?  And it's sponsored by one of the best drinks in the world, Dr. Pepper!  It's just what the Doctor ordered for my sulking.  And, it tastes good with Captain Morgan, FYI.  I, of course, have had to ban the Captain from my cabinet after a horrible incident involving shots many, many years ago.  But, it was still a tasty beverage.  I highly recommend it if you'll be riding this one out on the couch with me on Saturday.

We're back in our home away from home: The NC.  Not to be confused with the OC... but similar in that there will be a lot of Clemson fans there who think they are better than they really are. 

Dear Mr. Swinney,
Oh Dabo!  What happened, buddy??  You all were so pumped up at the beginning of the season... and now, well, now you are pretty darn lucky to still be ranked, AND, you are lucky to be playing us in the ACC Championship game.  We took that horrendous loss on October 1st (see Frostbite, Failure... and Fireworks? if you need a little reminder) and have won 7 consecutive games.  You Tony the Tigers, on the other hand, have won 4 and lost 3 - to Georgia Tech (understandable), NC State (a little more painful) and South Carolina (wow, that one must have really hurt).  If you look at my post pre-October 1st (see It's All in the Numbers), you can tell that I was afraid of you.  But you know what, Dabo?  Who's afraid now? 

We lost 3-23 on that fateful October night.  It was rainy.  It was freezing.  My toes are still recovering from the frostbite scare and I still have nightmares every once in a while about the Super 8.  We were at home and we looked "inept".  It was the defining moment of our season.  Second-half Giraffe made it the defining moment of his college career.  Do you remember the Miami game?  That's how I know it was our defining moment.  We didn't let it ruin us like the Boise State game did last season (not that last season was bad, but we did lose to JMU).  I know it's cliche, but we ARE a different team now. 

Dear Logan Thomas,
I have evaluated your in-season play and have decided that you are no longer the "Second-half Giraffe" or the "First-half Giraffe".  You have graduated to simply, "The Giraffe".  Congrats, buddy.  You deserve it.  Thanks for deciding that this whole QB-gig could be a good thing.  Keep on hitting 'em hard and falling forward on the third-and-shorts.  Thanks!

Need more proof that the October 1st hideousness was pretty much in another lifetime?  Let's round up a few things that prove our awesomeness:

1. Danny Coale was awarded the ACC's James Tatum Award.  He's the first Hokie to ever receive it.  He graduated in the fall of 2010 with a degree in Finance (with a 3.3 GPA), and he is now going for his second undergraduate degree in Marketing Management.  The award is given to the ACC's top scholar-athlete.  Coale, the man of many hats, is also a member of SEED at Tech.  It is a student group that manages the $4.3 million Virginia Tech Foundation.  It's the largest student-run investment portfolio.  Did I mention how bad our punting was on October 1st?  You know how we fixed that?  D. Coale.  I'm gonna miss him so much next year... it's not even funny.
2. David Wilson, the BEAST, was named the ACC Offensive and Overall Player of the Year.  He's 5th in the nation in yards per game, and well, we've all seen the back flips.  Tyrod got the award last year, and Bryan Randall got it in 2004.  Wilson is in good company.
3. Blake DeChristopher and David Wilson were named to the All-ACC 1st Team.  Jaymes Brooks, The Giraffe, James Gayle, Jayron Hosley, and Eddie Whitley were all named to the 2nd Team.  Getting Honorable Mentions were J.R. Collins, Antone Exum, Cody Journell (yeah, I know what you're thinking), Greg Nosal (our own Bear Grylls), and Bruce Taylor.  I hope that Bruuuuuuce was stuck in this category either due to his age or his injury, but the fact that he only got an honorable mention is ridiculous.
4. Blake DeChristopher is the 2011 ACC Jacobs Blocking Trophy recipient.  He's also the first Hokie to receive this award.  It is given to the most outstanding blocker in the ACC.  DeChristopher has started for us 4 years, is 6'5", and weighs 312 pounds.  He's pretty awesome, too.
5. Try to keep a poker face for this one: Stiney is a nominee for the 2011 Broyles Award for the top assistant coach in college football.  (Sorry, that makes me gag a little.  At least he's out of the booth.)

The ACC title is so close you can taste it.  It tastes a lot like Dr. Pepper for some reason.  This is our 5th trip to the ACC title game.  Both Boykin and Eddie Whitley are from Charlotte, so look for big things from them tomorrow.  Boykin needs just 2 catches to break the season pass reception record for Tech which is currently held by another awesome Hokie, Ernest Wilford.  Wilford had 55 in 2003.

During our last meeting against the Tony the Tigers, we were ranked 11th and they were 13th.  Now we are 5th (sorry, excuse the gag reflex) and they are lucky to be 20th.  Ohhh, how times have changed!  What is left of the burnt orange and northwest purple?  Did you try the chutney recipe?  "Tiger Rag" is still lame.  Littlejohn Stadium is still hilarious.  And "Death Valley" is still ridiculous.  But can Mike O'Cain step up this time and beat his alma mater?  QB Tajh Boyd is having issues.  WR Sammy Watkins is still good, but can't do much if Boyd decides to not show up.  RB Ellington is having a decent season, but I don't see him doing much with our D.  So, where does that leave us?

Payback.  It's that dirty 7-letter word that Dabo is dreading and Boyd is having nightmares about.  I'm glad we lost to them this season.  We needed it.  The Giraffe needed it.  Now it's on.  Now we know how to bring it, regardless of how many injuries we have or how crappy and inconsistent our play-calling is.  It's funny how they got our colors right this time on their game notes.  Remember how last time they left the colors on for Florida State?  I guess that's what #5 in the nation gets you... Respect.  This game is ours.  I can feel it.  If you can't feel it, you need to find the youtube video from the last couple of minutes from the Miami game, and then you'll be OK.

We eat our own on game day.  No one says ass-kicking turkeys don't also eat Tiger.  I think they do.  I'm not looking for a dark corner.  I'm going to play Enter Sandman and jump on my own, because as far as the team is concerned, this is a home game.  This is punishment for the misery of October 1st. This is the way Hokies say "thank-you" for season-defining moments. 

By the way, did you see Jack Tyler last Saturday?  I don't know where he's been hiding, but he reminded me of Cody Grimm.  I'd love to see more of him tomorrow.

Let's do this thing.  Game faces on.  Enter Sandman ready on the mp3 or computer.  Let's show the BCS what we're made of.

Go Giraffe!

Love seven-letter words,
The B.S.C.