Not that the worldwide crapper in sports did any better with Musburger. AN-TWANNE Exum? If you look at page 4 in the game notes, the pronunciation guide clearly states "AN-tone". I know, it's a whole 38 pages of reading in order to prepare for a game. That must be tough, Musburger. But, you know what? It's kind of your job. If you can't read 38 pages, I still expect you to flip to the pronunciation guide to make it at least sound like you read it.
THE SEVEN THINGS I LEARNED ON SATURDAY NIGHT:
1. I totally missed the whole two-tiger thing the first time we played the Tony the Tigers. They have "Tiger" and "Cub". I believe one had a "1/2" on his jersey, and the other had a "0". Shouldn't one have a "1" if the other is going to have "1/2"? Half of zero is zero. I mean, I wasn't a math major, but even I can figure that one out. I thought Clemson was one of the "smarter" schools.
2. Apparently, in the world of expert ACC officiating, it is fine to throw Danny Coale to the ground after he is out of bounds if you put your hands up afterward, acting like you did nothing. Shouldn't the fact that the kid puts his hands up be the first clue that he MIGHT have done something he thinks he shouldn't have? Nope. Apparently not. Lesson learned.
3. Andre Branch (traitor from VA) looks an awful lot like Evander Holyfield. Scary.
4. If Sammy Watkins is the best player on the field, why didn't he get the ACC Offensive Player of the Year? Hmm? (That one is directed at that fine ESPN crew.) Oh, wait! The guy who got that award IS on the field. His name is David Wilson.
5. There were a lot of Keystone Light and Lexus commercials. Exactly who do you think is in your demographic, ESPN? Or, are you simply trying to make sure you offer something for everyone? If so, I hope the Tech fans lean more towards the Lexus demographic...because I don't think I ever saw anyone drink Keystone Light in Blacksburg. I'm guessing that was for the Tony the Tiger fans.
6. "Trickeration", no matter how many times it is said or who says it, is STILL NOT A WORD.
7. The ACC Championship is pretty much a bowl game for us, and thus, we perform like we are in a bowl game. It's either really good... or simply horrendous. Unfortunately, we took the latter route in the second half of the game.
I'm glad we aren't going to the Orange Bowl. I am not going to miss meeting the Hillbillies in a bowl game. We need to play them every year, but not in a bowl game. We fizzle too much in bowl games, and a loss to WVU would be unbearable. We still had an awesome season. There's just one team that has our number, that's it. The Giraffe, minus the fumble on our first offensive play of the game, did well. The Tony the Tigers just managed to stop Wilson, and that killed us. And, well, Tajh Boyd decided to show up. With our D all banged up and Hosley leaving the game early, we were toast.
It was a sad game. I know how you feel. But, wasn't Danny Coale's punting pretty incredible?? I mean, he did have one really bad one, but the one in the 2nd quarter that was 59 yards and trapped the Tigers at the 2 was pretty awesome. Punter, Punt-returner, Wide Receiver... oh, how we'll miss you next year Danny Coale!!
We can't sulk too long. Chalk this one up to, well, the ups and downs of being a Hokie fan. We can't win every ACC Championship, no matter how much we deserve it. So, take whatever time you need to sulk and get over this one. Eat cookies. Drink egg-nog. Watch "A Christmas Story". Just don't shoot your eye out.
Before we start to think about how fantastic The Giraffe is going to be next year, we have one more thing to do. THE SUGAR BOWL. Can you flippin' believe it?? I didn't even watch the bowl crap. I figured we were off to yet another Cincinnati, oops, I mean Chik-fil-a, bowl. But somehow, the football gods decided that the Hokies were deserving of the ACC's first EVER at-large BCS bowl bid. That also means that the ACC will be sending two teams to BCS bowl games for the first time EVER. Why did we get that bowl bid? Because of you and because of me. Virginia Tech travels well, as they say. We support our team and we support them well. We'll fill up the stadium and we'll watch the game on tv. Don't think that we didn't have something to do with this bid. Our football team needs this game for confidence. The Giraffe really needs this game after losing twice to the Tony the Tigers. But we're a big reason for the bowl upgrade, which means, you better start looking for tickets if you can.
We'll be facing Michigan and all the Denard Robinson we can handle down in Nawlins. Thinking of running for a dark corner? Don't go there just yet. Let's see who we can get back on D before this game, and you know Bud will dial up something spectacular for us. Just invest in some beads and try to forget our last trip there... and I will try to stop having the nightmares of the 26-hour Amtrak ride from DC to Nawlins with the fans from Lynchburg who said "Slllliiiiiiiiiiddddddeeeellllllllllllll" every 15 minutes because they were listening to some radio station from there. Ick. Still makes me shudder.
Take a breather and sulk. Go through your five stages of grief and I'll see you on the other side when we're all ready for a bowl-game warm-up.
Love at-large bids that can give me short-term memory loss,
The B.S.C.
Does anyone have a clip of the Herbie rant?
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