B-S and WTF, and So-Long

You know we're gonna lose when Herbie picks us to win.  No, no... Herbie doesn't actually like us.  He's from Ohio State.  He just hates the Ugly Corns.  But even Herbie's hatred couldn't help us.  Another Sugar Bowl... another loss.  Ho hum.  Bah humbug.

Well, what did you expect?  Us to come out, hold Shoelace to practically nothing, and actually score?  Oh wait. We did that, didn't we!  This is where I will try to hold my sarcasm and utter rage to a minimum.  It's been over a week now.  You should have seen my plans for a post right after the game!  For the sake of the 10 people who actually read this thing (who might have small children), I thought it would be best to take a little breather before posting this one.  There's only so many ways to shorten B-S and WTF and words like that.  And, well, I've been debating in my head whether or not to sue the NCAA, Weaver, the referees, or Beamer for college football giving me manic episodes. If someone had video-taped me during the game, I would have been committed.

Screaming.
Grunting.
Covering my eyes.
Yelling.
Feeling sick to my stomach.
Jumping up and down.
Sighing.
Yelling "YESSSSSSSSSSS!"
Standing 5 inches from the TV.
Going to the bathroom on third down to avoid watching.

The question is, who is to blame for the madness?  Who?  I'll come back to that.

So, you all know how it went.  We didn't travel well.  There were more Ugly Corns than Hokies in the stands.  But honestly, I don't blame us.  It's expensive.  The economy sucks.  N'Awlins isn't quite Hawaii, and well, the memories of our last trip there are still very alive.  I don't think this is a trend.  I think next year we will travel extremely well.  I just think that, well, we all knew what was going to happen.

Speaking of suck-age and all that is awful in the world... here is my rant:

"Virginia Tech University" - REALLY?  I mean, come on!  How many times did the ref say that during the coin toss???  That foreshadowed the entire game.  He didn't even know what teams were on the field.  How could we have expected a fair (or even mildly decent) game of refereeing?  Learn what flippin' schools are playing and... oh... MAYBE THEIR ACTUAL SCHOOL NAMES!  Just a thought.  You are on TV.  This is a flippin' bowl game.  You might try asking someone if you aren't sure.  A-hole.

(Antonio Freeman?  Really?  That's our best effort for a bowl game?  What about Vick?  What about Bruce Smith?  Come on, Weaver!)

As always, the announcers were stupendously awful.  On our first series, they continued to call D.J. Coles Boykin.  1-8, not 8-1.  Maybe they were dyslexic.  I'm not making fun, but seriously, not one person in the booth could correct them?  They even replayed the mistake later in the game and STILL DIDN'T say anything to correct it.  Both announcers said it.  BOTH!  And then there was poor Antone AXE-UM.  Where do they even come up with this stuff?  If you all can't handle reading our game notes, just try to read the jersey: Exum. Not that difficult.  By the second quarter they said it right a few times, but went back and forth throughout the game.  Who's manic now?

Herbie couldn't remember David Wilson's name all night.  Was he drunk?  WTF!  I mean, come on!  It's not an odd name.  They had to help him say it at least 5 times.  Ridiculous!  How much is he getting paid to forget the players on the field??

I've covered the booth, so let's get back to the field.  We were awesome.  How could we have been any better during a bowl game?  We scored points!  We ruined their offense!  Without a couple lucky plays, the Ugly Corns would have been scoreless.    The Giraffe was spectacular.  You know who won that game?  We did.  Michigan didn't prove jack.  They proved that they were damn lucky and the refs were on their side.  Their program isn't "back" in any sense of the word.  Shoelace choked and is an awful passer.  Awful.  He looked horrendous.  And, if our young D can stop him, well, I just don't think his skills on the ground are very impressive either.  We ruled him.  We ruled their RB.  Bud Foster is awesome and he deserves Assistant Coach of the Year honors.  He made the Ugly Corns look like a joke.

And against his best judgment, I'll be damned if Stiney didn't actually get our offense to score.  Again.  I will repeat myself: Do you realize how SCARY GOOD Logan will be next year?  I might actually call him Logan! SCARY GOOD!  He proved, unlike Shoelace, that he can handle pressure and he is a great athlete.  He has the poise to play this game, and play it well.  Virginia Tech proved that they deserved to be there.  Michigan didn't.  We'll be playing in a national championship game very soon my friends, very soon.  The Ugly Corns will not.  If anyone calls us The Chokies, tell him/her to SHOVE IT.  People who watched the game know we won it.  Enough said.

So we lost even though we won.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still angry and bitter.  But, the fact that we proved ourselves kinda makes it all OK.  We didn't embarrass ourselves like we usually do.  We lost this game due to two things: Special Teams and bad calls on the field.

Let's talk about the latter first.  Hosley's interception: OVERTURNED.  Coale's heart-breaking touchdown in overtime: OVERTURNED.  It wasn't just the refs on the field.  The ones in the booth overturned every good play we had.  I hate instant replay in college.  HATE it.  Not like the refs on the field were any nicer to us.  They consistently missed penalties by the Ugly Corns and gave us bad spots on offense.  I honestly don't think we had a fair shot to win this game.  

Now the former is the disturbing part of all of this.  Poor Danny Coale is going to be haunted his whole life by that touchdown catch, and by the fake punt that he botched.  Justin Myer probably blames himself for missing that field goal, when he made them all night.  He's not even a field goal kicker!!  He was awesome!  The fact that these two boys will feel bad really pisses me off.  You know whose fault it really is?  Beamer's.  He is in charge of Special Teams.  You may not be able to predict that your back-up place kicker will miss curfew and be sent home, but you can predict that your scholarship kicker is a druggie loser.  Get to know your players, for God's sake!  And really?  A fake punt?  And how many times will we botch trying to block a kick in a bowl game???  HOW MANY??

I love Beamer.  I know a lot of Hokie fans don't.  I just don't know if he's taken us as far as he can or not.  I hold on to hope year after year because he's done so much for us, but when it's his specialty that ruins our chances to win a huge bowl game... you have to start wondering if you're just being loyal, and not smart.  JoPa being fired from Penn State was probably the best thing to happen to them.  You don't want to see these coaches leave who have really meant the world to their programs, but at some point, they start to inhibit their programs.  I just don't know...  I really don't.  But, I do think he's to blame for this loss.  And, well, he's kept Stiney year after year, which we all know is not beneficial to our team.

The Ugly Corn FG kicker was so excited after the game.  It was a stupid FG, Gibbons.  You aren't that special.  Besides, all I want to say when I see you and hear your name is "Giiiibbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaayyyyy".

My new favorite long snapper made some headlines after the game with an ESPN piece regarding the distractions of bowl week.  He makes a valid point: there's too much hype and not enough business during bowl week.  These kids are out there about to play in possibly the biggest game of their college careers, and they are watching New Orleans cheerleaders in some parade float warehouse.  Treat it like a normal away game.  If you win, then you get a "bowl week" vacation.  Wouldn't it be more fun to stay without having to practice anyway?  I love this kid.  He makes me really want to join Twitter.  Maybe if he makes it onto an NFL team, I will.

That's all the ranting I can think of right now.  I've lost so much anger in the past week...I hope you didn't get bored.  I really hope that Wilson decides to stick around for another year.  His performance wasn't exactly stellar during the game, but he still broke the single-season rushing mark for a Hokie.  Why not stick around and maybe win a Heisman?  Just a thought.

So, now we're stuck for 8 months with no college football.  Life stinks.  There's the spring game, but that's about it for excitement.  Oh yeah, and remember that comment about Alabama last post?  I was right.  We'll be opening our season Weaver-style by playing the reigning National Champions.  You know what?  I think we can beat them.  Wouldn't that be a nice way to start the season?  It's going to be scary as hell, but it could be our ticket to the National Championship.

I guess it's so-long for now, fellow Hokie fans.  I'm sad that it had to end this way this season.  Thank you for somehow finding me on Al Gore's amazing Internet, and thank you even more if you've signed up for email updates.  I'll try to stay in touch during the off-season to make sure you're all still alive.  If you've enjoyed the posts this season, tell a friend!  I'd love to have 20 followers.

Love that there's always next year,
The B.S.C.

UPDATE: As soon as I hit "publish", I found this article.  I guess Wilson didn't listen to my pleading.  But, what really hurts is that Hosley is leaving early, too.  Why, Hosley, why??  UGH.  The road to the National Championship better not rest on Tony Gregory.  If it does, I'm scared.

UPDATE #2: A BIG SIGH of relief is in order!  The Chik-fil-A kickoff game isn't until 2013!  Sorry for the misunderstanding.  Bad info, I guess.  At least that gives us a year to develop an O-line and we probably won't be playing the National Champions (I hope).