Friday, October 12, 2012

It's So Sad to Lose In Maroon

Normal schools would welcome Homecoming weekend with open arms.  It's the time to tailgate and meet up with old friends.  It's the time to judge how much weight those friends have gained and make comments to your spouse about it.  It's time to wear your school colors and just relax - because, hey, you're gonna win this one.  Your Athletic Director has made sure of it.  Ahhhh... Homecoming.  Princesses, Princes, a Queen and a King.  Homecoming.

Unfortunately for us, we aren't a normal school right now.  If there was an award for "The Most Over-rated Pre-season Team to Fail The Most Miserably by October", we'd win it.  Hands down.

Weaves has finally allowed us to wear maroon to a game.  How nice of him.  He also managed to get a 12:30 kick-off.  Woohoo!  Way to go there, Weaves!  That is just SO MUCH time to tailgate for a Homecoming game!  I can barely stand it.  Seriously - I CAN BARELY STAND IT.  Oh, and did I mention that we're going to lose?  Yeah... I'm pretty sure we're going to lose.

It isn't Weaves' fault.  I mean, Austin Peay would have been nicer for a Homecoming opponent... but how would he know The Goatees would look like Alabama to us right now in the season?  There's no way he could have known.  I don't think anyone could have guessed it.

Direct TV re-established our TV service on Sunday.  Thanks, Direct TV.  You saved me the pain of returning from VA Beach just to watch a taped game of us... losing.  I'm sorry, but does anyone else have a problem with that?  We are a team that loses 1... maybe 2 games per year.  3 is simply unbearable.  At 3 I start refusing to admit that we even have a football team.  I know some of you aren't going to like this, but, darn-it, I hope we lose every single game the rest of the season.

First off, for those of you still trying to recover from the BBL loss - this game is for YOU!  If we lose to Duke, the comments should subside.  Just tell those BBL fans, "Hey, we just lost to Duke.  Everyone can beat us this year, so SHOVE IT!"

Secondly, why the crap not?  Why not lose every single game?  Heck, I'll take my "Sucks to be U" shirt and put an "s" on it... so that it reads, "Us".  I have no shame.  Bring it on, Weaves!  We'd have noon kick-offs the remainder of the season if we didn't have those Thursday night games on the schedule.  I bet the worldwide loser in sports is kicking itself for those.  HAHAHAHAHA!  I laugh at you, ESPN!  That's what you get for saying "VAH Tech".  Shove it!

OK, so I seem to be saying things like "shove it" and "crap" a lot.  Maybe I have a little bit of anger and resentment at this point in the season.  But, geez, who wouldn't?  We're about to lose to The Goatees.  Stiney has ruined yet another young man/potential QB, Beamer just must not care, and Bud... well, what the heck is going on with Bud?

Dear Bud,
You know I love you, man. But what the heck has happened to you?  Where's the veins popping out of your neck?  Where's the vicious jaw muscles chewing something into a pulp?  It feels like I never see that anymore.  Who has the lunch box?  Who actually TRIES in practice?  What the heck is going on every halftime and every week during practice and ... well, every week during the game?  We don't look like a team that you coach.  We look like UVA.  We look like... puke.  (Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little)  What is the deal?  Don't you ever want to get back to the big game?  You know that it all rides on you.  Stiney is never going to get us there... it's YOU.  What's wrong, Bud?  WHAT IS WRONG???

Distraught in NoVA,
The B.S.C.

If we can manage the feat of losing the rest of the season, something's gotta give.  Beamer will have to re-evaluate what is going on.  If he doesn't, then it will be apparent that he's turned into JoePa.  He must not care about that trophy box... he must just be too cozy with the great gig he's got in Blacksburg.

I certainly hope that I'm wrong about the latter.  But, at this point, I think we need to just BE UVA - SUCK as much as we can - and then see if anything comes of it.

I'm sorry I don't have any game break-down from the BBLs.  I'm sorry I don't have anything interesting to say about 12:30 tomorrow.  The Goatees are 5-1 so far this season, and I'm betting that they will turn our day of Maroon glory into 6-1.

It's will be a cold, cold day in Blacksburg tomorrow.  My heart will be cold.  My butt, though, will be warm at home, on my IKEA couch.  I hope your butt will stay as toasty as mine.

Sigh... take a few shots... start making tally marks for every time they say 6'6" and/or 260.  I don't know.  Make it a drinking game.  All I know is that I'll watch and maybe, just maybe, get an ulcer.

Love that at least the Nats can take my mind off football,
The B.S.C.


2 comments:

  1. Hey BSC, I completely understand wanting to give up on the season. Frankly, I was very worried after losing to Pitt. I frankly gave up after Cincy. At this point, it's kinda just funny.

    I'm really glad that you shined the light on Beamer last week. I think he lost his edge a LONG time ago. Seriously, I haven't seen a blocked kick since my junior year...and that was 2005. I remember the days where there were 2 blocked kicks a game!

    So while I'm not a huge fan of a lose-out strategy, maybe that'll cause the alumni base to realize where the real problem is..right at the top. Both Beamer and Darth Weaver. I think they've taken us as far as they're going to. Sorry Coach Beamer, but you're never going to hold that crystal football...

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  2. Dave thanks for clarifying 2005 was your junior year and A LONG TIME AGO. I feel especially old since I was a junior in 1994.

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