Yes, I know, I made you feel very uncomfortable with the song last week. I get it. It was a little awkward to think of Beamer singing such things. But hey, uncomfortable worked. Uncomfortable won.
The Hobbit, according to the Worldwide Loser in Sports, is...
- an undersized Academic Wonder
- not fast
- not an over-powering arm
- not the biggest
and, "doesn't look the part".
Dear ESPN,
I get it; he's The Hobbit! He threw an interception during the 1st series right after a roughing-the-passer penalty put us in Ohio State territory. That was bloody egregious and I thought to myself, "Oh wonderful! This is how it's gonna go."
But then it didn't. And we actually put together drives and stuff!
So... do we really want someone who can "look the part"???? Really? Didn't we, ....ohhhhh, I don't know.... go through that with He Who Shall Not Be Named for so many flippin' years that I don't even want to think about it???? Give me a flippin' break, ESPN. You guys are idiots. You don't "look the part" of competent announcers, now do you?
I'll take The Hobbit. I'll expect an interception every game, maybe even every quarter! But if he gets over it, then darn it, so can we!
You know where you can shove your part-looking.
Oh, and by the way, by the end of the game, you said things like, he makes "good, quick decisions". And, he's a "cool customer". Oh, and he "established himself as a leader".
You guys are fools.
And how many times do you need to say, "the horseshoe"???
Love any other broadcast crew,
The B.S.C.
There are so many things I liked this game that I will just sorta list them out.
1. The no-huddle. Love it. Keep it forever.
2. Willie Byrn. The Paper Boy. Love him. Keep him forever.
3. Bucky Hodges, a QB turned TE. WHAT??? Love it. Do that from now on, never the other way around.
4. Shanked field goals by Ohio State. Awesome-sauce.
5. Ryan Malleck. Love him. Keep him forever, too.
6. Derek Di Nardo. He's been playing with us 4 seasons? Really? He is now a presence to be reckoned with. He had 3 tackles and 2 sacks. Love him. Keep him forever.
7. Kyshoen Jarrett is a beast. He was the Nagurski National Defensive Player of the Week. Love him. Keep him forever.
What I didn't enjoy were the lack of penalties called on Ohio State. It was border-line ridiculous. They also picked on cornerback Chuck Clark big-time. This kept Fuller out of the game, pretty much. I just hope Clark will step up to the challenge. I think this is going to happen A LOT. I also didn't enjoy the fact that we kept putting Williams in. Over and over and over. Why not McKenzie? I don't know. Maybe Loeffler has some secret plan that we haven't yet figured out in regards to the running game. Heck, the play of the game involved Edmunds blocking with Newsome running. I don't know, but since we won I will just say Loeffler is a genius. Maybe he's an evil genius - that has yet to be determined. But, let us now call him The Brain...
In keeping with the LOTR theme, fullback Sam Rogers is now officially and forever-more, Samwise. Samwise got his first TD this past weekend. Yay hobbits!
So, there it is. The horseshoe was not so impressive. I hated Ohio State without ever playing them... and I'm pretty sure I still hate them. They are like Notre Dame or WVU. People are fans just because. No good reason. Their idea of third down chaos is to hold up 3 fingers. Wooooaaaaahhhhh there, Nelly! You are going to deafen us with your hand gestures!
There were interceptions and fumbles and missed field goals. And yet we are now #17 AP, #19 USA Today, and #13 in the Power Rankings.
Holy flying leap into the rankings, Batman!
Next up, ECU. Due to political correctness and sensitivity to people with eye patches everywhere, we will only refer to ECU as ECU or That Purple Team. That's it. (Note to Etsy: any reference to eye patches is offensive and should be removed from your site.)
That Purple Team is 1-1 on the season, with a not-so-awful-loss to a ranked South Carolina team. They only lost by 10 points. Their rushing game doesn't seem to be stellar, but oh my, they have quite the air game.
Their QB, Shane Carden, already has 604 passing yards and 4 TDs on the season. Yikes! Chuck Clark better be ready for this one, because they are coming his way.
Predictions:
1 INT by Fuller and 1 INT by Jarrett
This game is pretty scary, but I'm going to have faith and just believe we can do anything this season. Why not? We were bound to win a game like Ohio State's one day, and we did. We'll be the Cinderella-story of the season! I know, this is not my norm. And I can't promise doom and gloom in the near future. But let's see what it's like to act all happy-go-lucky for a game and see where it takes us.
Shove that in your pie-hole, Worldwide Loser in Sports! The B.S.C. is calling it RIGHT NOW!
As Tailgate Fever would say...
I believe.
Love QBs who are QBs,
The B.S.C.
P.S. You ARE a Hokie now, Hobbit, Yes, yes, you ARE.
No comments:
Post a Comment