Drink consumption was about two times my average last night, but it was nothing that a little Jimmy Dean couldn't soak up this morning. Perhaps the massive amount of beef dip helped, too. One serving in the first quarter and another in the third helps to counteract the alcohol.
So, why do I feel so blah today? Are you feeling it?
Reader Jennifer in North Carolina recommended going to bed at half-time. An excellent, excellent idea. You go to bed happy because we're in the lead, and if you wake up today with a loss, no biggie. It's not heart-breaking, like watching us fail so miserably in the second half last night.
You know why I'm blah? Because that second quarter gave me hope. Seventeen unanswered points gave me hope. I hate hope.
Let me first address something extremely important:
Dear Buick (Its Advertising Department, CEO, and Board of Directors),
I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER PURCHASE A BUICK.
I understand purchasing a large block of advertising space during the very popular Virginia Tech-Ohio State game on September 7th. I also understand the importance of playing a commercial several times before a person notices it.
You must also know that at some point viewing the same thing over and over again becomes unbearable. Playing the exact same commercial every commercial break is horrendous. If I am exaggerating, then it's not by much. Trust me. Your commercial was painful. I literally had to look away and try not to listen to it.
Next time (not that it matters to me), keep it to maybe 5 plays over the course of the game. Got that? 5. Not 50.
Love,
The B.S.C.
With that out of the way, we can discuss the rest of my disgust from yesterday. I think a list is appropriate:
1. Orange effect? Really? Maroon is obviously our signature color. Are we so scared of Buck-hole fans muddling it up with red that we gave up our SIGNATURE COLOR on our HOME and SEASON opener? We are wusses!
2. Herbie needs to lay off the bronzer. For real. My better half called him an oompa loompa. I don't know, but he did look pretty orange to me. An oompa loompa for the WWLS? Perhaps. An idiot Buck-hole? Yes. Yes, indeed.
a. Stupid Herbie quotes:
1. "He's known for his passing." WHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTT? Yes, he was referring to the Hobbit.
2. "He's a baller." Again, referring to the Hobbit.
3. The WWLS lived up to its name and its hatred of all things Hokie last night. They read the chorus of Enter Sandman poetically at the beginning of the show, during our awesome opening, in case you missed it. Nothing could be less cool. Ever. They also mocked us in the 4th quarter by showing our jumping crowd from the beginning of the game, as we were getting our butts handed to us. Wow. That was really thoughtful of them.
4. Our helmet colors were odd. Coppery, reddish... Herbie orange?
5. After extensive research, I believe the "pimp" in the leopard/cheetah print shirt on the VT sideline was David Wilson. Can't find any pictures, though... but Al Gore thinks it was Wilson.
6. I counted 4 disgusted Beamer faces on the WWLS, and, 0 gum chewing for St. Bud. Something was off... very off.
7. Samwise is awesome.
8. The Hobbit sucks. The problem is that he may be our best QB. What the heck does Stiney think to himself while recruiting QBs? I cannot even fathom. The good news is that the Hobbit's collar bone is broken so we're gonna see a lot of Motley, and hopefully, Durkin. The bad news is that the Hobbit's collar bone is broken so we're gonna see a lot of Motley, and perhaps, Durkin. Oh, and the Hobbit's parents were with him on the field after the injury. Come on, man. That's embarrassing.
9. We have 3 Edmunds brothers playing? Holy crap!
10. Only smug people obsess over the word, "the".
Those are my top 10. I think it covers the highs (a few) and lows (lots more) from last night. Let's just keep our chins up for now. I'm a little excited at seeing a new QB. Let's do this.
Oh, and the normal match-up blog will be coming later this week. Stay tuned.
Love fresh QB meat,
The B.S.C.
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