Dear Sir,
I'm not that tall. If I were like Logan Thomas, I don't know how I ever would have even sat in my seat in Section 5. I can only do so much with a permanent chair strapped to the bleachers. I sat back as far as I could, and even then, my knees were right up against the back of your permanent chair. This is a Capitalist society; I appreciate that we both had permanent chairs, supporting the Corps of Cadets. But these are simply seat backs. I will repeat: these are SIMPLY SEAT BACKS. This was not to be used as a recliner. Did the seat say La-z-boy? Negative. You pushed that sucker back non-stop, as far as it could go. I actually thought it was going to break. It didn't. My knee caps? Almost. You didn't feel my knees in your shoulders every time you shot back towards an angle only a chaise lounge could achieve? What is wrong with you? And don't even get me started on the fact that we were sitting, at all, in Section 5. I was severely disappointed with this. If you need to lay down, like a little baby, during the game, please stay at home. Lane stadium is not a place for nappy time. I will be sitting behind you again, unfortunately, in two weeks at the Clemson game. If you do it again, I promise I will "accidentally" spill my drink on your back. Then we'll see if you like leaning back.
OK, now that I got that off my chest, I am prepared to comment on the rest of the game against the Little Red Riding Wolves. Deep breaths.
First of all, I'd like to give a shout out to G-Squared (George George). He caught his first college reception, a lovely 37-yarder, against the Red Wolves. Nice job, G-Squared.
Logan Thomas, welcome! Stiney, while having an out-of-body experience, actually gave Thomas opportunities to act like a real QB, outside of third-and-longs. Some of his throws were good, very good. Don't get me wrong, he still made some stupid decisions. He had the interception, of course, and I am still having nightmares from when he threw at three little red riding wolves while Danny Coale was all by himself 60 yards down the field, wide open. He had a decent run maybe once, still looking like a giraffe, but it was effective. He's no Tyrod- that's obvious. But all in all he looked like he could throw the ball and manage the offense, which is relieving. But I don't trust anyone with a first name for a last name, so we'll see if he can keep it up.
Danny Coale = awesomeness. Stiney couldn't handle all the perfection and decided to try running David Wilson up the middle all second half. Regardless of Stiney's attempt to deny the awesomeness, Coale managed to have 7 catches (including the TD) for 128 yards, most of which he piled up in the first half. I know Stiney, you failed at making us look pathetic. I'm sorry.
What you have managed to do, Stiney, is ruin David Wilson. The boy does not run well up the middle. Is this not obvious? Even I can see it. He does best going to the outside. Let Oglesby run it up the middle. I'm not saying you can't ever have Wilson try it, because we need to keep the defense honest, but please, please - let the boy run to the outside.
Dyrell Roberts disappeared after opening kick-off. Apparently he broke his left arm during the first play of the game. This is sad. Let's all hope that he can get a medical hardship waiver so that he can be a redshirt senior next season. He's such a talented player and this will probably keep him out the rest of the season. Hokies everywhere should be bummed about this; we've lost a great special teams player and wide receiver.
Hosley = awesomeness too. Two interceptions, not to mention his tackling ability, allowed us to completely shut down the little red riding wolves' defense. We held Jarboe to just 4 catches totalling 38 yards.
I heard nothing from Sirgregory; no golf claps were issued from Section 5. The weather was not awesome, as I had hoped. But at least I didn't freeze my ass off, and at least it didn't rain. Two questions: is it really that hard to find something white to wear? Half of the crowd had on maroon. Seriously? You can't even participate in something for Herma? They have white t-shirts at every store downtown: $9.95. Pick a sport and buy one, please. Do I personally like the idea of a "white out"? No, I think it's stupid. I want to wear maroon, just like you. I'd even prefer to wear orange. Or black. But I'm a Hokie, and if the football players have to wear ugly white helmets, then I will also wear an ugly white shirt. Enough said.
I was unable to acquire new plastic cups. I didn't trust the weird guy at the end of my row with any sort of monetary exchange with a vendor, and my knee caps couldn't handle getting out of my row in order to obtain refreshments from below. So I sat. And sat. Nice and thirsty. Smelly breath to my right, drunk to my left, and nappy time in front of me. Not to mention some girl with an incredibly annoying voice behind me. I can appreciate the smelly breath, and thank God, I only caught a whiff a couple times... and I appreciate a good drunk, like everyone, and well, I expect SOMEONE to have an annoying voice, regardless of where I sit. But seriously, Section 5? Sitting?? Section 5 below was standing, Section 5 to my left was standing, but we sat like a bunch of girls, reclining in our padded seats. I'm not that person who will stand with everyone else sitting. So I sat too. But it was unnatural, and I feel violated by doing it.
Dear Section 5,
Please do not sit on your asses for the Clemson and Miami games. Clemson just beat Auburn, and that is incredibly scary. Miami just beat Ohio State, and that is horrendously scary. I don't drive for 4 hours to sit and watch the game. I drive for 4 hours to live it on my feet, yelling and jumping. Please don't make me sit again. Think of the humanity! Please.
In Bud I trust. 3-0.
Love,
The B.S.C.
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