In doing my research for this week's post, I have realized something very, very important: Georgia Tech bores me. No, no... not the football team. The football team makes me want to pee in my pants. The school itself is boring. The traditions, the acronyms... everything is just, well... dull.
The Gah-Techs are made up of our favorite, old gold, and white. Seriously? White? Only a group of engineers would pick white as a school color. I looked it up - white is actually a color. But I'm in the group that thinks black should be a color and not white. Someone start a petition! What is it with old gold, anyway? It looks more like yellow to me.
The Gah-Techs have two official mascots: the Ramblin' Wreck and Buzz, the yellow jacket. The Ramblin' Wreck is a Ford Model A, which drives out onto the field, and Buzz, of course, is the cheerleader dressed up in a hornet costume. Hey man, I'm not making this stuff up. Buzz try-outs occur at the same time as cheerleader try-outs because he (or she) is officially part of the cheerleading squad. Go Buzz!! Do a herkie for me, buddy!
It's all pretty boring, isn't it? My sister lives right outside of Atlanta (SHOUT OUT!) and says that they aren't even talking about Gah-Tech there. All she hears is Georgia stuff. That's just sad. Not only are they boring, but their hometown could care less about them.
So, for all of the boredom I endured trying to dig up something interesting about the school, this is as good as I could find: RATS - Recently Acquired Tech Students. They call freshman orientation RATS week. Kinda funny... if you are an engineer.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some engineers! But, it seems like that is all Gah-Tech cares about. Think of how boring we would be without all the communications majors, liberal arts majors... even hospitality majors! We embrace everyone in Blacksburg, which makes our school, and our parties, better. Oh, and by the way, we are "Tech", thank you very much. If the worldwide losers in sports call us Vah-Tech or they refer to Gah-Tech as just "Tech", I will have a conniption. I promise that.
So, here we are: #10 versus #20. We are 8-1, of course, and the Gahs are 7-2, with embarrassing losses to UVA and Miami. They stand right behind us in the Coastal Division, and well, as of late, have really been our best competition in the division. The Gahs (pronounced juh-ahhs) play at cute little Bobby Dodd Stadium in Atlanta. Bobby Dodd holds 55,000 and, per attendance policies, will allow you to bring in baby food for snacking purposes, BUT only if you HAVE A CHILD IN YOUR ARMS. So, if you don't carry the diaper bag AND the child, you are out of luck! No baby food for you! And, no baby food snacking for you college students, either, unless you rent an 8-year-old and carry him/her into the stadium with you. "Child" was not defined, so I'm thinking anything up to 11-years old would work. Just a thought if you really crave applesauce on Thursday nights.
Atlanta is awesome because of Cherry Coke. Atlanta, on an Amtrak train, on the way back from losing at the Sugar Bowl = not awesome. Let's face it, Atlanta is a big dumpy city. I will always hate it for that train ride back from New Orleans.
Both teams are coming off bye weeks. The Gahs are coming off a HUGE win against Clemson, 31-7. Why should you tremble at that? The QB for the Gahs, Tevin Washington, rushed for 176 yards that game. Can you imagine that? That makes me want to run for the dark corner! They are FIRST in the nation on 3rd down conversions. They also rank in the top 10 in the nation for rushing offense, pass efficiency, fewest sacks allowed, and fewest penalty yards. With our beat-up D, this should be incredibly scary. This team is disciplined and talented. [insert Enter Sandman humming here]
DB Jemea Thomas is good. Look for David Sims, Orwin Smith, and Roddy Jones to tear us up with rushing yards. WR Stephen Hill is also decent. Hey, Shane Beamer was a grad assistant here in 2000. Beamers don't go to loser schools. The Gahs have a solid team on both sides of the ball.
We can hate their two VA players: Morgan Carter (Woodbridge, aka, the "right armpit" of Virginia) and Tim Seager (Blacksburg). I hope we really do a number on this Seager kid. He's absolutely a traitor. In the Gah's defense, though, we have 3 GA players: Detrick Bonner, Carl Jackson, and Bruuuuuuuuuuce. I'll take that trade any day.
The Gahs will scare the crap and/or pee out of us with their "spread option". They claim that the triple option is actually just one play (or a series of plays) that they run about 20% of the time. This sounds like football snootiness. I hate this crap. They even made up a position: the A-back. Apparently, by losing the tight end, they create a "slot-back" that is part receiver and part runner. Again, football snootiness. I can make up positions just as good as the next person, but I don't talk about them publicly. That makes them no better than Spurrier. Pitch and catch. Coach 'em up. Jerks.
Whatever you want to call it, the option is going to be the most difficult thing our defense will encounter all year. Washington is a scary QB with scary running skills. If Bud doesn't have a miracle dialed up for tomorrow, we could be in for a long, long night. This game should frighten you more than Pet Cemetery did when you were in elementary school. I'm scared to death. Why will I watch? Because I'm a Hokie, dammit! And we will either rise to the occassion and shine gloriously, or we'll fail miserably (see, "Frostbite, Failure... and Fireworks").
Cross your fingers and pray. Bud will need all the help he can get.
If you aren't excited for a Thursday night game that literally defines our season, you must be dead. If you are scared, well, that just makes you normal. Try not to fall asleep when they show clips of the Gah campus. Show a little respect, please.
I'm aiming for an offensive blow-out! Go second-half Giraffe!
Love made up football sayings,
The B.S.C.
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