I am so embarrassed! I missed it. I was so bored reading the game notes for the Gahs that I totally blanked out and forgot the most important, most interesting thing about the football program. I apologize profusely. You deserve much better "reporting" than this. I will make sure I never make this mistake again. It's so embarrassing. So, so embarrassing...
There HE was, in all his turtleneck and sweatshirt glory - the man, the myth, the legend: AL GROH. Ohhhh! How I've missed him! Haven't you missed him? All I could think of was how many turtlenecks he must have in his wardrobe. And, why oh why, ESPN, couldn't you show a full-length shot of him?! I needed to see if the sweatshirt was tucked in. I NEEDED to know! UGH. It's painful not knowing. Like Baldwin, Jr., it will remain a mystery. If you were there and saw him, please let me know what his sweatshirt looked like. Pictures would be excellent! I still can't believe I missed him. I could have built my whole pre-game article around him. Al is the Gah's defensive coordinator, of course. No one even mentions that he used to be the head coach at UVA. It's like it's taboo to say that someone got fired or really sucked at their previous job. Stupid announcers! Oh well, they said he was scared of David Wilson all week, which is pretty funny, considering Wilson had a career-high 175 yards last night.
Dear Al,
How's it going there in Atlanta, Al? Is the weather nicer than in Charlottesville? How do you feel about getting demoted from a head coach to a coordinator? You know, for all the worrying you did in regards to the best rusher in the nation, it doesn't appear that you did anything at all to stop him. He had the best night of his career. His CAREER, Al! Isn't that embarrassing? What exactly do you do during the week? How do you continue to get jobs? I am officially baffled by you and your contribution to football. Keep it up! I love playing against any team you touch.
Hugs and kisses,
The B.S.C.
P.S. Did you tuck in your sweatshirt last night? Just wondering...
David Wilson is a beast. I don't even miss those other two guys who left us last year. Though, if an announcer said one more thing about Wilson doing back flips or the triple jump, or whatever, I was going to lose it. Find something more interesting to talk about! Borrow the clip of Wilson's car from Comcast or something, geez! Again, the U of sports broadcasting. Enough said.
Why isn't anyone talking about Wilson for Heisman?? I mean, come on! He's leading the nation in rushing yards. Why don't we get any respect?
Speaking of respect, what was up with #45, Attachou? How stupid can you be? Why in the world would he try to punch the Giraffe in the head during a play? He killed the Gahs. He should be suspended for at least one game. Did Al teach him to do that? It was really classy like tucking in your sweatshirt. Plus, you know, punching at a helmet with your fist is always a good bet. I'm sure he's on the Dean's list.
Second-half Giraffe, regardless of people trying to punch and tackle him, was a beast just like Wilson. Second-half Giraffe played the whole entire 4 quarters! I never thought that I was going to have a stroke or a heart attack. Nothing! I actually felt confident in him! It was amazing! The QB keeper is his best play- let's all just admit it. He rocks at it. And, of course, until he gets hurt doing it, we can all say that the way he tries to take out tacklers when he's running is bad-ass. Can you imagine him next year? In two years?? You should be trembling with excitement!
We played a solid game on all sides of the ball. Our offensive line really paved the way for Wilson's huge game. On D, I think we did a good job. You can't hold the stupid option, triple or spread or whatever made-up word you want to use for it, to nothing. We did respectably. Beamer only looked like he was going to hurl at a couple penalties. All in all, we looked like a flippin' top 10 football team.
So, now we've won 12 straight road games and this was win 249 for Beamer. Doesn't it feel good to have a game like that on a Thursday night? Your friends from other ACC schools just can't say anything bad about us. You, on the other hand, can mock both Gah fans and UVA fans, for just their prior association with Groh. This is going to be a great weekend!
Up next we face UNC at home on yet another Thursday night! Ohhh, how I wish I was going to be there! How far can we go in the polls? Let's just see how Saturday plays out for the 9 teams above us. I'm thinking we can gain a little this week.
Oh, and before I forget, there are two ridiculous things that need to be brought to your attention:
1. UVA is in contention to be on top of the Coastal Division; and
2. Jazz fingers are a great idea for big third downs while your team is on D. Yes, doing something silent is an excellent idea. Did Al teach you to do that, or did you learn that from Occupy-whatever?
Love putting old gold in its place,
The B.S.C.
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