So, with just 4 games under our belt, and a super scary 3:30 game coming up this Saturday, apparently we have bowl predictions.
Dear ESPN,
I realize that only USA Today has us ranked in the top 25. I also realize that Cincinnati is no Boise State. But give me a flippin' break. A 3:30 kick-off? That is nonsense. And bowl predictions? Seriously? Florida State has basically played one decent team - Clemson - and they are ranked #4. You don't think these rankings are going to change? Don't stick us in the Russell Athletic Bowl just yet, you idiots. You know Bud Foster doesn't want to go to a bowl that sounds like a jock strap.
Your stupidity amazes me,
The B.S.C.
With only 8 mentions of the Giraffe's height and weight, I think the worldwide loser in sports must have been napping on Saturday. Some of my favorite quotes of the day:
~ "... sloppy first series for Virginia Tech." (True, but OUCH.)
~ "Jerrr-ron Gouveia-Winslow" (False. LOOK AT THE PRONUNCIATION GUIDE IN THE GAME NOTES!!! How many times do I need to say this?)
~ Half of the players either went by "Jerrr-ron" or "Anton". (False. Somehow I find this unlikely.)
~ "CJ Coleman" (FALSE. They almost did that one twice.)
~ Boo-boo Gates is "the most versatile player in all of college football." (FALSE. What? Are they kidding?)
~ To wrap it all up, they showed a graphic with us having 21 points in the 1st quarter and 0 in the 2nd. (False. Stupidity on parade.)
If you have dyslexia, sorry. That must be really rough. But please, don't go work for ESPN as a graphics person or even an announcer, for that matter. Because, it makes me angry when things are said (or displayed) incorrectly. It's not like this is a group of high school kids doing this for free. I honestly can't believe these people get paid to do this. Obnoxious.
So it goes.
I don't like to see any players get hurt, but I was secretly (and openly) hoping that when Anthon Samuel went out in The Normals' first series that he wouldn't make it back in. But no, he came back. Luckily for us, Bud gave them some hell before the game and our D decided to show up. Oh, and thank you for missing your first field goal attempt, BG. That was super nice of you. There's nothing wrong with a shut-out, my friends, especially when your Offense is like a turtle. Were we trying to be like Maryland with our ugly helmets? Who knows when it comes to Stiney.
Let's use that thought to move right into a discussion on our Offense: Is it just me, or does the Giraffe actually look worse than last year? I don't know if it was the bowl loss, the loss of our big WRs, something in the off-season, or what, but what is the deal with him? Leave it to Stiney to actually make someone worse the longer he plays for us. Our offense is simply egregious. Bloody awful! Did you see the shot of Stiney lackadaisically drinking a Diet Coke up in the booth after we got a 1st down on a stupid Giraffe running play? Why were we running him so much on 1st down? And where the heck is Mike O'Cain??? There is never any mention of him. Who is REALLY calling the plays? It certainly seems like Stiney never stopped, so why even bother? Mike O'Cain is simply Stiney 2.0, so why not just give it back to Stiney? He has nothing better to do than to sip his soda throughout the game, like it's no big deal that our Offense sucks.
Why so much Tony Gregory? That pitch play is the only thing he does well. Coleman does awesome every time he's in, but they take him out and put Gregory in. Our first successful drive in about 2 games ended in Coleman's first career TD, actually, giving us the 7-0 lead. I'm going to have a coronary episode one of these days, and in my will, there will be strict orders to sue Stiney.
So, yes, the Giraffe had a TD to Roberts. 14-0. And he had that scary rushing TD that almost ended in a fumble. 21-0. Yes, yes, he was TRYING. He was trying to let the team know that he was in it to win it, and I do appreciate that. I felt bad for some of the little Normal linebackers who had to tackle him in the open field. The Giraffe was really putting a hurt on them. I'll let the INT slide just because The Normals got shut out.
Jarrett had an awesome game. He's really becoming one of my favorites. Holmes had a TD. He's pretty solid. I like the combo of him and Coleman. Even Scales got a TD. We were passing them out like candy on Saturday. What, you want to score a TD? Come on in, my friend. The Normals are just giving them away.
We missed an extra point. We had some extra-crappy punts. What is up with our kicking game? I blame Beamer for that. He never should have recruited a kicker. That should be an automatic walk-on spot for us, forever.
I don't know if it's just me, but there seem to be some horrendous calls by the Refs every single game. I feel like I'm watching a pro football game every Saturday. The call on Bonner (who, don't get me wrong, is pretty much on my poo list) for holding when the replay clearly showed him being "bowled" over by a BG player... was asinine. He was on the ground. Exactly what was he holding on to with his back on the grass?
Ahh... deep breath. I think I'm done with my ranting. I realize that I'm ranting a lot for a shut-out, but let's be clear - this should have been a shut-out. I know that we tend to seize up when there's a "supposed-to", and we didn't, which is positive. But, this game did not give me a warm and fuzzy feeling for our upcoming battle against the Chik-fil-a's. We put together some long drives and we scored. Our Defense was present. Let's just mark a "W" and move on, because nothing else matters until 3:30 on Saturday.
Before I let you go, did anyone see the little "U" mascots? That's the only thing I enjoyed from the worldwide loser in sports this weekend.
And, I must share this article, http://hahasforhoohas.com/the-fart-that-almost-altered-my-destiny/, because well, I still laugh every time I think about it.
Love Altra Zero Drop ads... I need to get me some of those,
The B.S.C.
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