Normal is Terrifying

Yeah, yeah, yeah... it's Friday night and I'm just now writing this all down.  Give me a break, people!  Are you excited for Bowling Green?  Yeah, that's what I thought.  Just calm down and try to relax.  Weaves has a noon kick-off in store for us at home, with ugly camo helmets celebrating Military Appreciation Day, and tired students rolling out of bed at 11:45 too late to tailgate.  It's his idea of a perfect game day.

Don't get me wrong - I have no problem with camo.  Just... this camo looks weird.  Couldn't we go a more traditional route?  Don't worry.  If you love it, you can own one for an opening bid of $600, or a jersey for $300.  Yes, yes, my friends... college football is all about merchandising and auctions.

As I tried to prep for this week's game, I can't help but admit that I'm scared and, ....well... terrified.  The looks from all my coworkers... and comments... and jokes..., oh, and little pieces of paper left on my desk with things like, "Who is relevant now?" on them... well, it's hard to handle.  Is it time to head for my closet and rock back and forth?  I don't know.  I really don't know.

This is our 3rd meeting against the Falcons of Bowling Green.  We lead the tremendous rivalry 2-0, with our last meeting being a LONG, long time ago in 1993.  The Falcons are 1-2 in the Mid-American Conference, aka., the MAC, and are led by 4th-year BG head coach Dave Clawson.

At this point, I usually rename the mascot with something witty.  This time, though, the name landed right in my lap: The Normals.  This was actually the school's nickname until 1927.  It's so very, very sad that I almost want to cry for them.

Dear Weaves,
Don't get any ideas from The Normals.  We are not normal at Virginia Tech, even though your noon tailgates try to make us that way.  We are special.  Our mommies told us so.

Spitefully yours,
The B.S.C.

It's not even fair to make fun of a school like this, but for you, I will try.  Freddie "the Frat" Falcon (I added the middle part) was introduced in 1950.  Frieda Falcon, Freddie's much younger (and sometimes taller) wife was introduced in 1966.  Here is the happy couple:

The Normals picked a really awesome color combination to represent their school - ORANGE (not burnt) and BROWN (yes, poo color).  Surprising?  Nope.  Also not surprising is the fact that Doyt Perry Stadium only holds 24,000.  It's like a Texas high school game.  Quaint.

BG is near Toledo, Ohio... and Lake Erie, and it's only about 1.5 hours from Detroit.

Speaking of thug-life (OMG, is that an East Side or West Side reference?  Please don't get offended, gangstas.), READ THIS about a little boy we once called the future of VT football.  Yes, Marcus Vick.

Dear Giraffe,
If you don't kill The Normals and earn your hip-hop name sometime this season, you too may turn into Marcus Vick.  Just sayin...
Love,
The B.S.C.

BG is also awfully close to Ontario.  Land of Hosers.  Why am I talking about Hosers AGAIN this week?  There must be something wrong with me.  Or our team.  Or most likely, our Offensive Coordinator.

BG is also next to the Great Black Swamp.  It's pretty nice.

I'd like to see a Dual Survival episode there.

Although The Normals consider Toledo to be their arch rival, we better watch our butts during this one, folks.  Senior defensive tackle Chris Jones will be on the Giraffe like Spam on a Hawaiian all afternoon.  Running back Anthon (yes, no "y") Samuel is the reigning MAC Freshman of the Year.  The Normals have a decent QB in Junior Matt Schilz, but where they are really loaded is at WR.  Some names you will hear tomorrow are Chris Gallon, Shaun Joplin, and Ryan Burbrink.

Jarrett received ACC Specialist of the week for his 94-yard punt return for a TD last week.  Anything else notable about us from last week?  Ummm... you were there, right?  Or, you saw it.  N-O-P-E.

On the plus, side, the marketing specialists at Capri Sun have done something AWESOMELY HILARIOUS.

So yeah, I don't know what else to say about this one.  I'm terrified that this is a JMU repeat.  I may never be able to go to work again.  If our Defense can pretend to even show up, we MIGHT be OK.  But I have no idea what the hell to expect after last week.

I am baffled.

I'm also baffled as to why they haven't announced the kick-off for the FedEx game.  Are we really that cursed?  I'm supposed to be taking the Alumni bus... when, you ask??  No flippin' idea!  Why can't they set a time??  Because the game time hasn't been announced!!!  I know Weaves has something to do with this somehow.  I can hear him arguing with Danny Snyder about the benefits of a noon kick-off right now...

Say a prayer.  Close your eyes.  Hold your breath.  This is just our football team right now.

Love Dave and Cody (where are you guys??),
The B.S.C.