I know that as you plugged in your laptop to your TV, you thought, "Why the hell does ESPN3 feel the need to go by watchespn.com?" There was still an ESPN3 logo at the bottom of the screen. Why are they trying to be confusing? And seriously, isn't ESPN supposed to be the worldwide leader in sports? Those announcers were awful. AWFUL. We'll discuss more about them later.
That first quarter was horrendous. Maybe it was because my Internet connection would get slow and the TV would look like a bootleg copy of Madden. Thanks a lot, Al Gore. Maybe the Hokies actually got slower with my Internet... hmm... we could be on to something there. Regardless, it was just like the second half of the Miami game. We had absolutely no run defense. Having Gayle, Hopkins, and G-Dub out is really having an impact on us. Let's hope Bud can whip these new guys into shape quickly. We slowly got better throughout the game, but having those 3 out makes a noticeable difference.
The first way the announcers showed their idiocy was by calling the Giraffe "Big L". Then, of course, like every game, they showed the graphic of the tallest QBs in the league. Big L. Wow. That is some creative writing over there at ESPN. I bet I could get a job writing that gold.
I was keeping track of our possessions for a little while. This is how they went. Note: this is not necessarily completely accurate. Due to the amount of alcohol I was forced to consume during the 1st quarter, my notes may be a little off.
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1st poss. - 3 and out. Woohoo! We're looking awesome. Punt.
2nd poss. - Giraffe called an audible. An AUDIBLE! Did he not listen to my scorn regarding this a week or two ago? And what did the audible get us? He threw it... to NO ONE. Result: another 3 and out. WTF is up with our O-line??? 24-yard punt.
[I must break here to mention the second example of announcer idiocy. That long pass to Givens... you remember it, I know you do. Hosley was catching up to him, grabbed his hamstring, and then stopped running. What did the announcers say? "He was outrun." Bastards.]
3rd poss. - Didn't get even 1 yard. BIG FAT GOOSE EGG. Good ol' Stiney went down the field Hail-Mary style on 3rd and 10. Result? Punt.
4th poss. - FINALLY threw to Boykin. Remember him? Our best receiver? Oh yeah, took us 4 possessions to get him the ball. On 3rd and 2, we ... wait for it... run to the outside! Brilliant call by Stiney! Another punt.
[The announcers still haven't said anything regarding Hosley. But he has disappeared...]
End of 1st quarter. 10-0. Time to make another drink!
5th poss. - yet ANOTHER attempted pass to Marcus Davis. Why do we keep throwing to him? It was almost intercepted. Throw to Boykin - FIRST DOWN! Amazing! Running game still isn't doing jack. Once again, went for the long-ball down the field on 3rd down. Another punt. Apparently the offense from the Clemson game showed up. Sad.
6th poss. - Screen to Wilson. Nice! Throw to Boykin. QB keeper for the TD! 7-10
Kick-off out of bounds. Lovely.
7th poss. - Great run by Wilson. TD, Boykin! 14-10
[The third instance of ESPN idiocy appeared at this point. They put up a graphic of Coale and Boykin, with their numbers mixed up. How hard is it guys, really?]
Are they ever going to talk about the Tech sideline?? Price is now having issues - the O-line of the Lenos is collapsing.
8th poss. - Insanely awful sack after a 1st down. What was the Giraffe thinking?? Punt inside the 5. Nice!
Seriously? The DDs have lawn seating?
[41 seconds left in the 2nd quarter, and the brilliant ESPN crew has finally mentioned that Hosley is out due to a hamstring injury. Wow. Idiocy #4.]
INTERCEPTION by #24, Edwards!
Big reception by Drager... I love him!
[Random replay of us tackling a Leno from earlier in the game... while we still have the ball. Idiocy #5.]
TD! Thomas with the keeper! Stiney has finally listened to me for play-calling on 3rd and short.
[1st play of the 2nd half, idiocy #6: The announcers say Thomas is going to be sacked. Oh wait. First down. Oops.]
TD! Wilson!
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It was all uphill from here, so I'll save you my notes from this point on. It's hard for me to decipher them anyway. I appreciate Stiney sticking to the run. It paid off eventually. Marcus Davis even scored his own TD at one point, so I got off my rant about constantly trying to throw to him by the end of the game.
Did you see #8, Bonner? He filled in for Hosley. He was pretty flippin' awesome. I'm excited about seeing more of him next year. Did you also see Wilson run so fast that he ran out of his shoe? The man is insane.
Our road streak winning record increased to 11, the best in the nation. You saw the stupid Sprint, Capital One Venture card, SW Airlines, and Toyota Venza commercials so many times that you probably dreamed about meeting a cave man on plane and showing him on your sprint phone how great a Venza would be for his parents. Because they are only for old people, right?
I think we successfully kept the Lenos out of the polls. They did sorta look a little foolish by the end of the game. Not that having the DD ride in on a motorcycle helped with his street cred at all; he has on a top hat and tails! It doesn't matter what you do to him, he's going to look uptight and goofy.
It was a good weekend to be a Hokie. The tatt is proving to be good luck. Next up, your now #16 ranked Hokies meet Boston College at Lane Stadium for Homecoming. I have a feeling that this will be a fun one.
Love vodka and QB keepers,
The B.S.C.
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